The Wanderer

[Birdie]

Leah-Lynn tossed the bass in the meager trunk of the car before entering themselves. The drive to the hospital was quiet. They did not even play music. The car was parked and they went up the walk into the white walled sanctuary which was the house of healing. The pair were directed toward a waiting room where Ren paced. He bit the thumb of his nail as he walked back and forth. He spoke to no one.

Taking a seat, Leah-Lynn stared off into space and waited patiently. It was not long before the other band members arrived. They began asking questions of Ren. He replied as well as he could, though he was short with them in his agitation.

"Is Kouhei alright?"

"I dunno, they're doing whatever it is they do... Fuck." His voice shook as much as his hands did. Occasionally he seated himself only to stand again and pace some. After an hour, a doctor appeared. He was a short man with a face so mundane and normal that it could have easily been lost in a crowd. Ren stopped his pacing and went to the man. "How is he? Is he alright?"

"He will be fine. We got his heart regulated and he is on some medications right now. The family is free to see him."

"None of us are family," Ren replied coldly. "He has no family here. We are as close as it's gonna get."

The doctor fidgeted with a clipboard a moment, considering the options. "I will have to check to make sure this is alright." The doctor disappeared through the doors only to come back minutes later. "He only wishes to see a... Seishuku Tsuyoi? Do not agitate or startle him in anyway. You must remain calm." Ren scowled darkly at Tsuyoi, but did not speak. The doctor led the blonde boy through the doors and down some hallways until they came to a room. A nurse was just exiting and smiled kindly before moving away. The doctor gestured to the door and then followed the nurse.

The room was normal and neat, nothing stood out. On the bed lay Kouhei, his hair a mess and his make-up smudged on his face. His skin was sickly pale and he looked devastatingly tired. He pushed himself up slightly. His face turned an even whiter shade of pale and he lay back with a small moan.

"Damn," he mumbled "They got me on too much shit right now. The room is spinning. I'm so glad to see you. I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Ren was really making it worse on him. Close friends indeed the man couldn't stay still. All Tsuyoi wanted to do was tie him to a chair! It was making him fidget and he body was aching from his tensed muscles in staying so still.

Tsuyoi had never moved so quickly in his life. He startled even himself at how urgent he was to get out of his seat and to Kouhei's side when the doctor called on him. Ren wasn't even on his mind and he forced himself to stiffly walk behind the doctor. Couldn't the damn doctor move any faster!?

But he breathed, not allowing himself to even enter the room until he could walk slowly without looking so mechanical. But seeing Kouhei made things all the more difficult. He looked so pathetic and it made him feel all the more protective. And suddenly so...touchy.

Tsuyoi didn't know what he was doing. But he was there at Kouhei's side, smoothing through messy coloured bangs with his fingers and wiping away smeared eyeliner. "No." he stated with a huff. "You are here instead of being with--" he hesitated, not wanting to speak of Ren and them out of a jealousy he would not own up to. "Old friends." he finished quickly.

He forced himself to remove his hands from Kouhei's person and drag a chair to the side of the bed before removing Kouhei's purse from inside his jacket. He swallowed hard, not knowing what else to say and holding back the urge to touch Kouhei more. Seeing him so weak...it was very difficult to stay composed.

[Birdie]

Those hands were so warm against his cool skin. He leaned into the fingers. They felt wonderful and the fact that this near stranger was touching him in this way felt natural. Almost like coming home after a long time away. All too soon that touch left him and he opened his eyes and forced a smile onto his face. There was his purse. Kouhei giggled a little. "You remembered it. Thank you." He winced as his giggled stopped, placing a hand on his chest. "Damn... I'm really sorry you are at the hospital. You can call your dad or your friend or something so you don't have to be stuck here. It'll be boring I'm sure." He swirled his blue hair around his fingers.

He really wished Tsuyoi would stay. He felt the most at ease with him in the room. He had not realized just how much he missed him until he woke up and Tsuyoi was out of sight. He shifted slightly in the bed and took a sip from a straw sticking out of a Styrofoam cup. "I'm also sorry the bar wasn't all the fun for you, I think. I did have a blast. I haven't sung on stage for quite a while. I guess I pushed myself a little too hard. Silly me." He stuck out his tongue slightly at his own foolishness.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Tsuyoi didn't feel comfortable spouting the thoughts that immediately came to his head. Something along the lines of reassuring Kouhei there was nowhere else he'd rather be. That sounded completely rediculous and stupid and true. He kept his mouth shut, deciding that the fact he didn't already walk out the door as his way of admitting that he wanted to stay.

He scooted the chair closer, his hands in his laps and gripping at his pants to force them from somehow making their way back into Kouhei's hair. He didn't know how to comment without revealing too much. "The bar was fine..." he admitted, before glaring at his lap as he forced out at least a small confession. "I enjoyed watching you." Tsuyoi wouldn't let Kouhei think too much on the statement.

"Everyone else is here, too. To see you."

[Birdie]

Kouhei brightened visibly. Despite the sickliness of his appearance, he managed to look truly happy. "Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!" He pressed his fingers to his lips in an attempt to hide his happiness, but it did not good. It beamed from his body. The brightness only left him at the mention of the others. He stayed quiet a long moment and stared at the blank wall to his left. Finally, after a few moments he said, "This isn't the first time this has ever happened. Two other times when I was on stage. At least three other random times." Kouhei gave a long sigh.

"I want to see them but it's so... Ren is going to kill me. Well, yell at me. I can see him all rage and anger right now." He brushed his hair back from his face before turning to Tsuyoi again. "I was born with heart problems you know. The doctors said I wasn't going to make it past three years. Every day I live is like a blessing you know? But it's only made possible by medication that I have to take. I don't always take it like I should. I can't always afford it. There are other things that need to be bought. Food, rent, you know. Stuff." He picked at the hem of his blanket as he explained. "Everyone already knows this. I just... feel like I let them down. They were all so excited to play and I ruined it..." Tears sprang up at the corners of his eyes.

He wanted to cry, but the exertion from crying would hurt. He quickly wiped away the tears, further smudging the dark make-up around his eyes. Sniffling, Kouhei said, "I probably look like a fucking raccoon or something." he laughed tearfully and then winced, rubbing his chest again. "I just want to be with you right now. You are nice and quiet and I can just say whatever and I don't have to worry. I'm just so comfortable around you Seishuku-san. Have I met you before? You just seem so...." He grabbed a tissue from the box as he tried to wipe his face clean, but also to hide the dark blush which covered his cheeks. "I mean... nevermind. Must be the drugs huh? Making me crazy."

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Tsuyoi didn't say much more. Ren had seemed very angry. But would he really yell at Kouhei when he looked so...so needing of support? That's all that he wanted to do, just smother the boy in attention and comfort. His knuckles whitened as he forced himself to stay completely still and fight off all the urges he had for the weak Kouhei.

"You are not crazy." he admitted, but would not go into detail on why he believed that to be so. He wouldn't dare say he felt the same way. Seeing Kouhei worried over his appearance forced him into action. With a gentle hand and intense concentration he took the tissue from Kouhei's hand and took it upon himself to clean off the smudged makeup. There was no way Kouhei could know if he was getting any of it off or not.

It was a wierd feeling, taking care of Kouhei. It satisfied his urge to touch him, but he was given a task so that he didn't lose sight of what he was doing. It wasn't until the makeup smudge was gone that became distracted. Those blue eyes were distracting him again. He was trapped, and he couldn't look away. The tissue was still in his hand, and he pressed it against Kouhei's cheek. The slightest of barriers between his touch to bare skin like before.

[Birdie]

"Naw, I think we're all a little crazy!" He let Tsuyoi take the tissue from his and closed his eyes, lifting his face to make it easier for the boy to clean. He felt the tissue wipe across his skin. His hands were really warm, even through the thick paper. Kouhei felt as if he were being pampered.

Jade green eyes fluttered opened when Tsuyoi paused. A small smile played across his lips. For a long moment they stayed like that until Kouhei reached out and placed a slender hand against the side of Tsuyoi's face. Everything was so warm about this young man, even though he gave off the chilled air of an iceburg. It was a wonderful new fact.

Kouhei averted his gaze finally, a dark blush coming to his cheeks. "Sorry," he mumbled, hand falling back into his lap. He could blame it all on the drugs again. They were making him act down right goofy. "Thank you for helping me," he gestured to his mostly cleaned face. He did not look so bad with the smeared make-up creating a stark contrast on his face.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Tsuyoi blinked back into reality quickly, his eyes wide at the realization that he had completely lost himself. If Kouhei hadn't looked away...who knows how long he would have been stuck in that trance! He nodded stiffly in response to the thanks and quickly got up to toss the tissue into the trash. It was a good enough excuse to hide his exceedingly frightened blushing face.

Afraid was slightly too strong of a word. But all of this was too bizarra and alien for him to grasp with ease. A completely conflicted and tortured expression that kept his back turned towards Kouhei and his hand still outstretched towards the trash can. He breathed hard, trying to motivate himself and lying to himself that everything was fine. That this whole thing would pass. That it was only Kouhei's pathetic appearance that brought an urge for him to pamper Kouhei so much. There was nothing more to it. He straightened, rubbing at his face as if to wipe away the expression that had forced its way through. And when he felt that he had succeeded in wiping it away from existance Tsuyoi turned back to face Kouhei.

"A-are you prepared for the others? If not I can have them dismissed." It would take a while for him to kick them all out to go home. And maybe a few security guards to get Ren moving. He was almost hoping for that.

[Birdie]

Kouhei sighed, settling in his pillowed. As he considered his options he smoothed out the blankets around him, picking at bits of fuzz before he finally replied. "Yes, I suppose I should see them. But... I'll get the nurse to get them or something... don't leave me yet." He reached out a hand rested the tips of his fingers against Tsuyoi's arm before withdrawing.

He turned to a little companel thing that was resting atop the blankets. He pressed the button for the nurse. It was a few moments before a woman asked politely what he needed. "Can you bring the rest of my friends in please? I know they are worried."

"Of course." The link went dead. It wouldn't be long before the others arrived.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

The time alone was quickly coming to an end. Tsuyoi felt like he should take advantage of it in some way. Say something personal, or reassuring. But he was frozen, filled with fears he never thought he had. His fingers twitched, longing for something to do to distract himself. He considered taking out his phone, one of the things that Gakuto had brought him. But he couldn't find it in himself to do it. It would only lessen the support he was trying to give to Kouhei by just being here. So when they did arrive he gave off an extreme air of distaste and distrust. No part of his stance or expression gave them any indication that he had actually been any support to Kouhei at all. He looked completely uncomfortable and unapproachable.

[Birdie]

The awkward silence was killing Kouhei. He began to wonder if he had done wrong by reaching out to Tsuyoi. He opened his lips to say something, some sort of apology, anything really to alleviate the stillness. "Seishuku-san, I..." then Ren barreled through the door. With out a glance at Tsuyoi he was at Kouhei's side. His hands reached for the singer's pale ones. He pressed Kouhei's knuckles against his lips before stroking the back of his hands gently.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked. "I'm so sorry I didn't see it. I just... Damn... I shoulda noticed."

"No, don't be like that. It's not your fault. I was having so much fun and I chose to ignore the signs. It was my bad. I'm sorry for making you worry." His cheeks flushed, looking much more red due to the pallid nature of his face.

The rest of the band followed behind, each of them offered Tsuyoi some sort of greeting before going to their friend's side. They all spent a couple of hours like this. The two girls playing with Kouhei's hair, playing word games, anything to pass the hours. They all tried to involve Tsuyoi but whether or not he decided to join was up to him in the end. Everyone but Ren, that was. He made no effort to have anything to do with Tsuyoi, filled with a jealous rage and too blind to see that his lack of friendship only hurt Kouhei.

Eventually it was time for the group to leave. Ren did so begrudgingly but he had places to be in the morning. He repeatedly asked if Kouhei would be alright. Kouhei would then have to assure him that everything would be fine.

As the band left, quiet filled the room along with the lateness of the day. The sun was set and the dark night sky greeted them through the window. Kouhei turned his eyes on Tsuyoi. "I'm really sorry to ask this of you but... would you stay here with me." He was blushing again. He stared at his hands which he clasped tightly in his lap. "I... I mean, if you need to go too that's fine. I understand. Your dad is probably worried and all."

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Their attempts to include him were futile as he refused to join the full group and their interactions with Kouhei. All the while he still resisted the tempation of his phone. He wouldn't make himself anymore distant than he already had. Even if the device was vibrating annoyingly in his pocket.

Some time in the last hour whoever was trying to contact him had finally given up. He was left alone once again with Kouhei and although he could relax easier with the large group of people gone, he was constantly on edge for any new temptations that creeped their way into his head. "I will stay." he answered simply, adjusting the chair he had once used back at his side before stiffly sitting down. He was tired, constantly being on edge had made his muscles stiff and his back ache. He had never spent so much time in a hospital room before. There would be no sleep for him here, but he never considered leaving Kouhei for a comfortable warm bed that waited for him at home.

Trying to make himself more comfortable, he bent forward slightly to rest his elbows on his thighs, and placing his chin in the palms of his hands. Not liking the position, he adjusted with his hands clasped together with his chin resting on his knuckles. He continued to fidget, crossing one leg over the other before changing his hands' position again. Still, he was silent.

[Birdie]

Kouhei brightened and smiled. "Thank you." He was glad to not have to be alone in the hospital. He hated being here what with the smells and the constant doctors being around and people jabbing him with needles or needing to touch him. It overstimulated Kouhei and he often longed to escape the white walls and return to his colorful home.

He watched the night world for a while until the sound of movement caught his attention. From the corner of his eye he watched Tsuyoi move about all fidgety and obviously uncomfortable. It did not take too long before Tsuyoi's movement made Kouhei want to start fidgeting too.

Moving over slightly in the bed, he patted the space beside him. "You can come lay up here if you like. It's loads more comfortable, I promise. Might get some sleep in this godforsaken place too." He offered the younger boy a grin. Being as small as he was, there was enough room for the two boys to lay comfortably side by side, with only their arms touching.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

If this had been back to the first night he had spent with Kouhei and he had offered Tsuyoi his bed to share, the younger boy would have already been gone and back home with his father ready and willing to get his hair dyed back to normal. But things had changed in such a short amount of time. He did want to run, it would be the easiest option.

But Tsuyoi never took the easy way. The longing for a comfortable bed and his exhaustion won over. Silently moving from his seat he tugged off his shoes by the heels and awkwardly situated himself in the bed. He tried to make it seem casual. Like nothing was wrong with joining Kouhei in bed. Even the revelation that Kouhei was indeed male did not make things any easier. Finally he was able to lay out of taller frame onto the mattress, body stiff and straight so that no part of him touched his bed mate.

Finally giving into the distraction he had ignored most of the visit, he allowed himself to reach into his pocket and take out his phone. It vibrated again. Fluidly he unlocked the phone with a swipe of his thumb and skimmed through the various texts, calls, and emails he had dismissed.

Concentrating on his phone, Tsuyoi was able to relax slightly. His elbow grazed Kouhei's arm but for once he didn't notice as he realized that most of the missed phone calls and texts were from his father. Brows furrowing, a sense of dread filled him. There must be something going on since his father had been so committed to throwing him out on the street and ignoring him. Sighing, he rested his phone against his chest, closing his eyes and laying his head back. The best seemed much more comfortable with how tired he was.

[Birdie]

Kouhei lay next to Tsuyoi, unsure whether or not to be comforted by the silence. But tiredness took him and soon he was dozing before he had long to worry about what to say. Absently he could hear Tsuyoi play with his phone. He only woke up a couple times when the phone would make a sound or when the boy next to him touched him (by accident). He was hardly aware of all these things, being good and drugged up.

It was the sound of the phone coming to rest on the highschooler's chest that caused Kouhei to open his eyes again. Half sleeping he smiled and reached out slender fingers to gently touch the beautiful blonde locks Tsuyoi possessed. They were softer now, though still a little coarse from the harsh bleach. It would only grow softer with time as long as he continued to use the conditioner.

He brought his hand back and turned on his side so that he face Tsuyoi. Lifting the hospital sheet to his face, he covered his nose and mouth so he peeked over the edge at the other boy. "I forgot if I said or not.... but thank you so much for staying. I hate being alone." By covering his mouth with the sheet he hoped to keep the bad breath he was so very certain he had from ever reaching Tsuyoi. "You know... You look like ice but you're really so nice. Like ice cream! Yeah, you're like ice cream. Cold and sweet... I love ice cream... You know what my favorite kind is? Actually, I like sorbet better. Cuz it's just fruit juice. You're not like sorbet though. Ice cream, definitely... But I mean, I still like ice cream. I'd never turn it down. If someone were like 'hey, let's go get some ice cream' I wouldn't say, 'Hell no I hate ice cream.' I would say 'Fuck yeah! I'm all over that, let's do dis!' My favorite flavor is strawberry..."