Living in the Moment

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Sesshoumaru wasn't sure what he expected. To be honest, he expected her to truly be ready to fulfill any role just to leave his home faster. But the look on her face proved it to be too much for her to handle. The anguished look made him feel dirty and despicable. The sudden feeling of guilt confused and took him by surprise. As a servant, this was highly unusual behavior. But as Brigantia, what was it?

For a demon that used scent and body language more than words, even as a lady her reaction was still over the top. But he had known something would have happened. He had known enough to anticipate her discomfort. He had been so wrapped up in his own spite on her departure that he schemed something that had seemed so horrible in her eyes.

The lord found her easy enough. She had gone a shockingly good distance. Landing gently a decent distance away, he was cautious in his approach. He did not give any words of excuse or apology that he was still too prideful to give.

[Birdie]

Finally her tears subsided. She removed her face from her hands and looked toward the cloud filled sky. The day would soon come to a close. It was that calm moment between the end of the afternoon and the setting of the sun. It was lovely to look at the open air, see the trees on the horizon and mountains much further on in the distance. All around her was open grass with patches of wild flowers sprouting upwards. She wished she could be a flower, singing praises to the day. There were no strange, complicated emotions in a flower. But their lives were so very short.

She sighed, running her fingers through the long grasses. Wishing for such a thing was silly, wasn't it. She half smiled at the passing whim. Just as she was beginning to feel more comfortable and calm, she could feel the approach of the last person she wanted to see. Dark eyes turned toward where he would be coming from and it was not long before his figure appeared. She moved herself into a more proper kneeling position and when he was close preformed a dogeza.

The air around her master was strange. There was something like regret mixed in with much more powerful feelings of high self worth. She was in the wrong. "Moushiwake arimasen," she said. It was not above a whisper as her voice has become raspy due to all of her crying. "I was not able to preform the duty you had set forth for me and instead ran here. Please accept this humble apology."

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Sesshoumaru eyed her thoughtfully, looking down on her kneeling form. Satisfied and some questions answered, he hummed an approval. There was much more he could say and probably should. Explanations, expectations; most of all, reassurances. He paused for a while, planning his words strategically and avoiding eye contact.

The thick roots of a thick growing evergreen caught his eye and Sesshoumaru concentrated on that spot to speak his mind. It was easier that way when he didn't have to see the slight pout to her lips or the fluttering of eyelashes as she considered his words. Yes, this was much easier to confess certain personal things.

"You wish to be a servant, but still see yourself ranked high enough to set limits. The place you have set yourself in this pack is acceptable."

[Birdie]

She stayed down for quite a long while. Or at least it felt that way. Her mind calmed down enough to feel that the air was not nearly so thick with anger as she had supposed. In fact she could not find a trace of it. Had she imagined it? She lifted herself to a sitting position and watched the lord. His mind seemed preoccupied as he watched some place far off.

Brigantia brought her attention to the place she guessed he would be looking but saw nothing of particular interest. She must have imagined it. How could she think he was angry with her now? Running slender fingers through her hair, she looked back toward Sesshomaru. He was speaking to her now. His words were a little hard to decipher. They were wrought with meaning. Speaking so very little, he had still managed to say an awful lot.

A smile appeared on her lips. She was a part of this home, this family, this pack. She belonged some place. Never before had she really thought about it. Certainly she felt comfortable here, but his saying so made her come to terms with how much she loved this place.

"Yes, thank you very much." She stood and bowed again. She did not know what to say next. Somehow this situation had become strange. Brigantia very much wanted to make him proud, to continue to earn his praise. But she did not know how to voice this with out sounding... What was she so afraid of sounding like? "Shall we go back?" She finally inquired, "Or is there something of great importance across the way?" She was extremely curious was to what could hold his attention for such a long while, and so she walked toward the place his face was directed.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Slowly Sesshoumaru blinked, realizing she had caught onto his staring. Narrowing his eyes slightly, he didn't explain himself, Turning on his heel, he came back the way he came at a much slower pace than how he had arrived.

(sorry such a short post, but I couldn't see sessh doing anything else hahahah)

[Birdie]

((No worries, no worries! This actually turned out a bit longer than I thought it would. I have a question about Fumiko though, has she abandoned ship? If so... who will teach Brigantia? Are we going to have to find a new teacher?))

She stopped her endeavor to find out what it was that he had been looking at to follow him back toward the buildings. Her steps were light and she felt as if she were walking on air. But she must not allow herself to feel to good about this situation lest she become pompous and act above her station. Despite her attempts to calm herself and keep from letting the happiness overwhelm her, it over flowed inside of her heart. It filled her chest and made her practically glow. She belonged somewhere again, she was accepted and her life would be even more beautiful from now onward.

It was not too long before they made it back. She supposed that Sesshomaru would probably not need her any longer. She caused him an awful lot of trouble. Not to mention all the stress of having the lords around and of course that situation that had happened earlier in the day. He probably needed sometime alone. "I think I shall go change. Thank you very much again, my lord." She paused to bow deeply to his back before rushing off to change her dirty clothing and fix her tear stained face.

Remembering that there had been a death, a murder even, in the estate caused her happiness to deflate exponentially. The thought of it all made her stomach queasy and her heart uneasy. She let out a long sigh as she entered her room. Closing the door carefully, the slowly undid her obi before letting the kimono she had been wearing fall to the floor. It pooled around her feet and she stepped out to gather up new clothing. She caught sight of herself in the mirror as she passed. Stopping, Brigantia took a moment to carefully inspect herself. Her shoulders were think, all together she was very pale. She wiped her hands over her face in an attempt to remove any sign of the tears which had plagued her.

It was stupid. It was all so very, very stupid. What had upset her and caused her to cry was so little in comparison to the things that had happened earlier that day. Brigantia felt like a child and she hated that side of her. Slipping on a new dress (this one was the color of jade and plain) and tying it off properly she decided that she should probably find work to do. There was plenty. Probably a lot of dishes. Anything to keep her mind out of the sad void it had fallen into... Perhaps she should check on Ainu? The death would hit him so much harder. While she had felt the discord of a life leaving the world, he felt pain.

She spent a little longer making sure that her appearance was good enough should she be able to find him. In the mirror her face was not as pretty as when Fumiko had put the make-up on her. For the first time she felt disappointed and unhappy with her appearance. When had she become so aware of it? Brigantia reminded herself that such a thing was of no importance. She was a servant who had no time nor business concerning herself with her appearance. It was distasteful and would only be seen as impudence in front of the lord.

Satisfied that she did not look as if she had been crying, she set out to search for the wolf lord. It did not take long for her to find his aura.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

The lord in question was watching over his servants and confidants as they packed their things. With a heavy heart and a hard expression he watched as they hoisted the body of his uncle onto a cart. His body was hidden beneath a silk sheet and although Lord Ainu tried to seem reserved as he watched the cart as it passed by, he couldn't stare for too long. With a snarl he had to look away.

The wolf lord sought out her image before she appeared and with her presence the tension in his body lessened. But his expression was still hard and his emotions gnawing deep into him. Straightening himself he met her the rest of the way and with no thought to the public around them bowed his head until his forehead pressed against her shoulder. He wasn't as tall as Sesshoumaru or Ryuu, so it did not feel uncomfortable. But what he lacked in height he was rewarded with a larger frame of tight fitting muscles that flexed and tensed with his barely held back despair.

Brigantia had done much to soothe his emotions, but it was all flooding back to him at the sight of his uncle and the dreadful return back to his land. If only...

"Come with me." the command sounded more like a plea with the cracking of his voice. He lifted his head slightly, enough to place his nose against her shoulder and breathe in deeply. How could he leave this behind? He cared little of their audience and they did well to act like they didn't notice. And cared even less of the Western Lord who would surely not be happy with him being so audacious. All Ainu cared about was the little half breed that could soothe a ferocious wolf into domesticity.

[Birdie]

She could feel his heaviness as she approached. It weighed down on her own soul. He came toward her and they stood facing each other. It did not take long before he made physical contact. It surprised her at first, his head against her shoulder. The touch made the whole of his emotions flow into her and the extreme empathy she felt brought her to tears. She reached up her hands and placed one against his head and the other lay lightly against his shoulder. Her fingers began to run soothingly through his hair.

His words caused her hand to pause for a few moments as she considered this. Her dark, tear filled eyes concentrating only on him. Her fingers continue their ministrations as she replied. "Yes, my lord." Where to? For what purpose? She did not know the answer to these questions and it hardly mattered. All she wanted was to make him happy and smile again before he left her. He was important and it was her responsibility to ensure that all of Sesshomaru's guests were happy.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Ainu paused, surprised at her quick acceptance. He raised his head, meeting her eyes as he stood by her side. He searched her expression, trying to look past the tears and the sympathy she so easily gave. He couldn't find what he was looking for, and his heart sank just a bit. It didn't change his plea. Things would change, she had agreed to come with him after all. "Then I'll send a servant to pack your things. It's not too far to the Eastern capital." He reached for her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I'll make sure the ride is comfortable." Like many pampered females, he assumed her sudden reluctance was for open travel which most females he had spent time with were completely against.

[Birdie]

Oh... He meant to leave the whole of the place. To quit the home she had just found. She quickly withdrew, holding her hands to her chest. Her eyes filled with more tears as she realized she how much she would hurt him now. She would only be adding to his pain instead of helping him. "I am sorry. I am so very, very sorry. I cannot leave this place behind. I had thought you meant somewhere temporary, within these walls." She wept freely, her whole being filled with the guilt she felt for turning him down when she had initially said yes. It was too much. She was filled with everything he felt along with the new things she felt. Brigantia wanted to run away, as far as she could go, but knew this would hardly be helpful.

"But, I will forever keep you in my soul. I hope I shall reside in yours as well. I cannot leave here." Taking a second, she turned to look toward the small house in which she resided with Sesshomaru. Brigantia wanted very much to give them wolf lord something of hers to keep. She had nothing here that was her own. All of her possessions had existed at the burned down temple. "I know perhaps I cannot be forgiven for the wrong I have just done you. Please, if there is anything I can give you let me know." A lock of hair? Her hand? Her arm? Her wings? All she had left was he body and that was not entirely her own.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

At first he was very pained and confused. But how could he hold it against her when she reacted in such distress? His feelings for her kept his selfishness at bay as he tried his best to finally be able to return the feelings of comfort. It was hard, but he forced a smirk although the small chuckle was real as his forehead once again found her shoulder. If she had truly agreed, this would have been his favorite position. It wasn't too intrusive, but it was still so intimate for the Eastern Lord. The smirk he had forced became more real as he considered her words.

He would ask for nothing. Because he would see her again. Brigantia made it seem so final, but how could he walk away and never look back? It would surely aggrivate Sesshoumaru, but he now had a regular guest in the future. "I will come see you again." he said it with confidance and conviction that made his forced smirk a real grin. It was something to look forward to. Something passed the burial of his most trusted general. Something passed the meeting awaiting him with Ryuu for land. "You can figure out what to give me until I return." The bravest of his confidants called for him, bowing low to state that they were ready. He ignored the other wolf for a moment, wanting to savor the face of the half breed that had enamored him so. A glimpse of red and silver caught his eye above her head and he saw the Western Lord glowering from a good distance away. Feeling slightly foolish for lingering so long under the glare of Sesshoumaru he risked his life to do one last thing.

Thinking fast, he lowered his face to hers and gave a quick lick to the corner of her mouth. A mark, a promise, and a claim. A goodbye. Sesshoumaru stiffened and seethed and Ainu straightened quickly and turned on his heel as his servants waited for him to take the lead before they headed off together.

[Birdie]

His smile calmed her slightly. Though she still felt guilty, it allowed her to stop those stupid, pesky tears from coming. Easily she accepted him again. Her fingers lightly dancing through his hair. Closing her eyes, she allowed the feelings of sadness at having to part fill her. She did not wish him to go, but knew she could not ask him to stay in a home she did not own. He had his own places to go, an entire family to take care of. There was much to do in his future and she simply did not have such a permanent place in it.

"I will be extremely happy to see you again. I hope the time does not go by too slowly." As they stood together she considered what she could possibly give him. Perhaps she could create something for him to use on a daily basis, yes, that would be perfect. She could not dwell too long on the thing she would make for the wolf lord as a new presence overwhelmed her.

It had been there for quite a while before she was able to see through the distractions. Being in direct contact with so many feelings made her nearly blind to the rest of the world. It was only Sesshomaru's immense power and strength of his aura which caused her to realize he had even appeared.

Ainu pulled away and her hands fell back together, settling in front of her, clasped. He did not pull away completely before surprising her. She felt the warmth of his tongue against the side of her mouth. Her eyes grew wide and she gasped. Her fingers fluttered up to her lips as she watched after Ainu. A deep blush covered her cheeks. Eyes on his back, she tried to calm herself. Finally she smiled and waved to the wolf lord.

Brigantia would miss him greatly. He was a kind soul, a kindred spirit. There had been a deep connection between them and it hurt her to see him go so soon. She chose not to dwell on it long before she turned to Sesshomaru, curious and waiting for an order.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

As soon as Ainu turned his back Sesshoumaru made his way to her. Orders and harsh remarks filled his mouth and lingered on the tip of his tongue. He stared at the side of her mouth, as if the wolf had brightly colored saliva that left a visible mark on her face. He bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to give a lot of orders. Orders for her to wash her face, to stay still as he left his own mark on her mouth. His hand flexed at his side. He wanted to rub his thumb against the mark and wipe it away covering it with his own scent.

Make it disappear.

But the damage had been done, and Ainu's intentions loud and clear. Wolves were known for their tenacity. Even such a blunt refusal wasn't enough to deter the Eastern Lord. And his public announcement would leave his home buzzing with gossip for weeks.

Reminded of how his servants reacted to such things, he made up his mind to get rid of the mark as fast as possible. He could only imagine the gawking she would receive from pack breeds if she so casually walked around with the scent lingering so heavily.

Making up his mind, he cupped her chin with his hand, making sure to press firmly against the mark with his thumb. He kept a firm hold, and rubbed at it ever so slightly until the scent of the Eastern Lord had subsided and was replaced with his own.

Wordlessly, Sesshoumaru turned away. It wouldn't stop the gossip but now they would only know through word of mouth than to see the evidence clearly on her face.

[Birdie]

She cocked her head to the side was he simply stared at her for what could have been deemed as a little too long. When he finally decided to act on whatever it was that confuddled him, it certainly was not what Brigantia was expecting. She felt like a child as he wiped at the corner of her mouth. Making only a small sound of surprise she allowed this action to happen.

Brigantia liked his touch. It was warm and inviting. It made her stomach do funny flippy things and her heart race. She leaned into his hand, wondering why he should be so adamant on removing the scent of Lord Ainu from her body. All too soon the hand left her and she sighed, watching Sesshomaru leave. Now what was she supposed to do? This day off was proving to be a great mix of just too much stuff.

Annoyed with herself she decided to return to her quarters to plan something she could potentially give to Ainu when he did return. Perhaps meditate and take time to herself. When she had reached the quiet solitude of her room, Brigantia came to realize just how busy her life had become. She had been afraid to dwell in the stagnation and silence that had been her old life. But as she sat by herself in the middle of her room, all she felt was peace. She closed her eyes and let her mind go blank. All around her the sound of the universe played.

Little did she know that she had spent at the very least two hours just sitting like this. When she came back to the world she felt refreshed. It was not until she opened the door to look out into the wild mess of garden that she came to realize the passage of time. She laughed a little at how she had managed to loose track so easily. Leaning against the doorway she watched the wind blow through that strange garden and wondered who had planted the first seeds.

----

((Should I do something with Hitoshi here? It seems like a good place for him to tease Sesshomaru a bit as well as help him. Just not sure what to have him do. We shall discuss it next we talk.))

[Birdie]

She cocked her head to the side was he simply stared at her for what could have been deemed as a little too long. When he finally decided to act on whatever it was that confuddled him, it certainly was not what Brigantia was expecting. She felt like a child as he wiped at the corner of her mouth. Making only a small sound of surprise she allowed this action to happen.

Brigantia liked his touch. It was warm and inviting. It made her stomach do funny flippy things and her heart race. She leaned into his hand, wondering why he should be so adamant on removing the scent of Lord Ainu from her body. All too soon the hand left her and she sighed, watching Sesshomaru leave. Now what was she supposed to do? This day off was proving to be a great mix of just too much stuff.

Annoyed with herself she decided to return to her quarters to plan something she could potentially give to Ainu when he did return. Perhaps meditate and take time to herself. When she had reached the quiet solitude of her room, Brigantia came to realize just how busy her life had become. She had been afraid to dwell in the stagnation and silence that had been her old life. But as she sat by herself in the middle of her room, all she felt was peace. She closed her eyes and let her mind go blank. All around her the sound of the universe played.

Little did she know that she had spent at the very least two hours just sitting like this. When she came back to the world she felt refreshed. It was not until she opened the door to look out into the wild mess of garden that she came to realize the passage of time. She laughed a little at how she had managed to loose track so easily. Leaning against the doorway she watched the wind blow through that strange garden and wondered who had planted the first seeds.

----

((Should I do something with Hitoshi here? It seems like a good place for him to tease Sesshomaru a bit as well as help him. Just not sure what to have him do. We shall discuss it next we talk.))