Silence to the Songbird

[Lord Sesshomaru]

The first yawn is always the sign of exhaustion. A mother can always tell. Even a new one like Merodi. She knew immediately once her daughter's eyes began to water, and a loud and large yawn forming. Even when the girl tried to hide it. She knew what was coming now that her mother had seen. Merodi stood, going to her daughter her fussed and whined and declared she wasn't tired.

"Sure you're not." Merodi would say, as she picked up her daughter, taking her to the pelt that was her bed. She tucked her in and Tempa continued to whine. The mother tucked her daughter in until she looked like she was in a coccoon. The child yawned again in between her whining. This would be the time that Merodi might have sang to her daughter, to get her to sleep. But she did not give the option. And Tempa waited for it, continuing to whine until she gave up and decided to ask.

"Mommy I want a bed time song!" Merodi frowned, before a small apologetic smile came across her face. "I can't Tempa, I don't know any songs." she got up and ignored her daughter's complaints who was too comfortable to move and follow her mother. Tempa finally gave up, but not without kicking and making a fuss for a few minutes. Merodi couldn't do anything though and she sighed, practically collapsing onto her own mat. Why did this have to happen?

[Aiko]

Taking inventory was probably one of the most boring jobs that Koga ever had to do, and it was annoying, too. The wolf demon leader wasn’t really good with figures and whatnot. Therefore, it was a job that he rarely did. So now, while a young wolf demon stood with his breastplate dented in from a scrap he’d had with some demon on the eastern border, Koga had his hands on his hips and his brows furrowed as he stared at the meager stock of spare armor he had in the corner of the cave. None of it was small enough for this youngling. Groaning, he turned back to the kid, who was hovering around anxiously behind him. [brown]“And you can’t fix it?”[/brown] he asked for the umpteenth time, and the youth shook his head for the umpteenth time. Koga groaned again. [brown]“I guess you’re gonna have to go without for now, and until we get you a new breastplate, you’re off border patrol.”[/brown] The youth bowed and walked away to join a huddle of other young demons, who watched with wide eyes. The leader watched his subordinate go, then let out a heavy breath. Turning on his heel, he walked over to where his mate laid down on their mat, looking particularly worn out.

Koga seated himself beside Merodi where she lay on the soft hide. He chuckled softly. [brown]“Tempa giving you trouble?”[/brown] he asked, doing his best to be lighthearted, but when he turned to look at the deer demon, he thought he saw that something else was giving her trouble. This wasn’t her usual worn-out-by-her-daughter look. Koga knew his own mate. He thought she looked downright miserable. [brown]“Merodi? What’s the matter?”[/brown] he asked, alarmed, though he thought he had some idea what this was going to be about.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Just because the child had given up with her mother, didn't mean she was out just yet. With the entering of her father, she was sure he could convince Mom to sing her a goodnight song! She squirmed in the blankets secure hold on her. "Daddy! Mom won't sing me my bedtime song!" she said in the most saddest voice the child could muster, pouting and looking toward her father from the distance between them. Tempa loved the bed time songs. Because they were always different. Always something to pay attention to until she fell asleep. How could she sleep without a bed time song!?

Merodi bowed her head, almost ashamed of what she couldn't do. Ears drooping, she couldn't meet her daughter's gaze and the pouty begging look she gave. She didn't say anything, knowing that Tempa's statements would answer Koga's questions. She didn't feel like restating. It was harder to live with the fact she could not sing anymore. But having to say it over and over again made it more real, and so much harder to deal with.

[Aiko]

Koga’s head jerked up as he heard Tempa crying out for her lullabies. Merodi always sang bedtime songs to her daughter to send her off to sleep. The wolf demon’s eyes flicked between his daughter and his mate. Was this it? Merodi’s look of misery offered no other explanation, and he suspected it was. For whatever reason, the deer demon wasn’t going to sing this night, but Koga didn’t really understand all of it. He didn’t understand why, he just knew that she wouldn’t. He wanted to ask her why, but Tempa was still whining. First things first: the monster had to be put to sleep.

After a moment, Koga decided to try being funny. Maybe that would help his daughter sleep. [brown]“If you keep whining like that, you’re going to have me singing to you. You wouldn’t want that,”[/brown] the wolf demon said, smiling knowingly. Though he’d never really made any attempts, he knew he was not musically talented. His voice was better suited for commanding warriors than for making pretty noises. With that threat hanging in the air, he called, [brown]“Go to sleep, Tempa. It’ll be alright.”[/brown] Making a big show of just how alright it was, the wolf demon laid himself down, putting his hands behind his head. [brown]“See? I’m going to sleep now.”[/brown] But of course he wasn’t.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Tempa pouted more, realizing that no matter what she did her father wouldn't side with her instead of her Mom. Couldn't he make her mother do it? Why was her mom being so mean!? She huffed, and tossed and turned, making a drama out of showing that she couldn't sleep without a song. She did nothing but exhaust herself more. Soon another yawn came. And another. Then the droopy eyes, and the blurry vision. Then the lights were out in her brain. Drifting off into dreams that would never make any sense.

Merodi lied herself down. Being very still, afraid if she moved her daughter would try and plead for songs again. Ears twitching, she picked up on the girl's soft breaths and how she could no longer hear the rustling of fabric. Slowly she turned herself on her side, trying to make herself more comfortable to rest. She didn't look at Koga. Did he not know yet what it means? Did he not hear Soothsayer declare her blessing gone? Taken? She felt even worthless then she ever had before, even before meeting Koga. Because now, she really had nothing.

[Aiko]

A minute passed after Tempa’s breathing had grown steady and turned into the deep breathing of the sleeper. Then another minute passed. And another. Koga waited a full five minutes before he lightly touched Merodi on the shoulder. Her soft, velvety skin-fur was smooth beneath his rough fingertips, but the wolf demon was worried. Why wasn’t she looking at him? Why was she so obviously miserable? And the most puzzling of all his questions: Why wasn’t she singing? Singing was what she loved best, and yet she wasn’t doing it. Something was wrong, and Koga had his suspicions about it.

As soon as he was sure he’d gotten Merodi’s attention, Koga motioned to his mate, indicating that he wanted to go outside. Quietly, he rose from the hide mat that they shared and padded between the bodies of his wolf demons. Many were still out at this time, and a few were just then entering the cave. They nodded their dripping heads as their leader passed, but Koga barely noticed them. Those questions were still burning inside his mind.

When Koga reached the entrance of the cave, he didn’t hesitate, but bunched up the muscles in his legs and leapt out of the cave through the waterfall. For a moment, cold water was pounding on his head and shoulders, and it was like a slap on the face. Everything in Koga’s mind was being reorganized as he landed on still-warm rock beyond the waterfall. The wolf demon tilted his chin up towards the sky, which was purpling from a sun that was still in the process of setting. In the east, stars were beginning to prick the sky with their cold, white lights. A deep breath of clean air blasted through Koga’s lungs before the wolf demon turned around, waiting for Merodi.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Merodi didn't want to go outside. She didn't want to move. She wasn't sure if she ever wanted to get up from her spot. The deer demon knew what was coming, and feared it. Making no noise or complaints as she might have wanted, she got up from the mat and followed her mate. In her nervous anxiety she began to rub her arm again before angrily stopping herself and forcing her hands at her sides. She hesitated at the waterfall.

Merodi didn't need the cold right now. But the more she thought about it, she was sure it would keep her up longer. She might be thinking a bit dramatically, but she was sure she didn't want to ever sleep again. Sighing she forced herself through the water to join him. First thing she did was try and fix her hair, wringing out the water as she stared at her feet.

[Aiko]

Koga watched as Merodi materialized through the veil of water and landed near him. Her hands instantly went to her hair, wringing it out. She did this a lot, though Koga could never understand why. Her hair looked fine to him, no matter how damp or frizzy it got. Coming closer to the deer demon, her mate took her hands in his, making her let go of her hair. He squeezed her fingers encouragingly, looking down at her even though she was resolutely trying to look at her feet. [brown]“Merodi,”[/brown] he said quietly, hoping that this would make the deer demon look up and meet his eyes. He was worried about her! The least she could do was look at him.

[brown]“What’s wrong, Merodi?”[/brown] he asked her, still holding her hands and still gazing down at her with his blue eyes wide with concern. [brown]“I don’t understand. Why aren’t you singing?”[/brown] If she hadn’t looked up at him by this point, Koga hooked a finger under her small chin and tilted her head up to him. He wanted to look her in the eyes, even though he knew that he’d probably only see that strange misery in their chocolate-colored depths. The wolf demon couldn’t understand what was going on, but he wanted to. If he knew what was wrong, maybe he could make it right.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Merodi refused to look at Koga. She occupied herself by looking at her hands in which he held in his own. He was worried and concerned, she knew that. She could not fake her happiness any longer, not when her blessing was reminded to her. Every night. She bit her lip, forcing herself to be quiet as long as she could. It was not a female to complain. A true female would keep it to herself, stay happy and content and to keep the family stable by the side lines.

The moment Merodi was forced to look into his eyes she couldn't hold it in any longer. "I-I don't know any songs..." she repeated what was told to her daughter. It was easier to say then the other things. But it was true. She didn't anymore. The moment the blessing was gone, everything else was gone too. There was something that made her able to record and memorize these songs. All of it was just...deleted.

[Aiko]

Koga’s pale blue eyes narrowed. [brown]“What?” [/brown]he asked, feeling like his own voice was being drained from him. He swallowed hard, feeling his throat compressing in on itself for a moment. [brown]“What do you mean? How’s that possible? You’ve always known songs.”[/brown] It had always been like Merodi drew the lyrics and the notes from some unseen reserve, like there was some well of music that only the deer demon could access. The wolf demon could remember some of the songs she had sung for him, or that he had happened to hear her sing. Her music was as much a part of her as her hands and her feet. It got her into trouble, even. What did she mean, then, that she didn’t know any songs?

[brown]“What about the song about your past, what was it…?”[/brown] Koga remembered how that song had affected him, even before he had admitted to himself that he’d fallen in love with her. [brown] “The one about you being damaged. Don’t you remember that one? And what about that other one, about how you felt about me?”[/brown] An unexpected chill washed up the wolf demon’s spine, and the hair on the back of his neck prickled with dread. [brown] “You have to know that one!”[/brown] He moved his hand so that he cupped her soft, fuzzy cheek in his palm as he searched her eyes with his, his gaze flicking from one of her eyes to the other.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Merodi frowned. Why did it have to be like this? Why did she have to explain it to him. She looked away again, trying to control herself. She was going to end up crying if she couldn't. Her eyes were hitting, she could feel her face heat up as if ready to explose and let everything out. Everything she tried to hold inside. Her voice cracked, but she seemed to be doing a good job when she had to look at him again, feeling his hand against her face. "I-I remember...singing it to you...but I don't know the lyrics anymore." she bit her lip again before continuing, and the first signs of tears appeared. "They're gone. All my songs are gone. A-and I won't be getting new ones." Not until Soothsayer decided to give them back.

[Aiko]

Merodi’s eyes had adopted that glassiness, that shininess, that preceded crying. Koga saw the damp film wash over his mate’s vision, and he was frustrated. Oh, he wasn’t annoyed with her. He was frustrated that, despite how the deer demon was trying to explain, and how he knew she was probably explaining it just fine, he still didn’t understand. He drew in a ragged breath as he tried to master his impatience. His being upset only made the deer demon feel worse, it always did. He closed his eyes, letting her escape from his intense sapphire stare for a moment, as he exhaled. When the wolf demon opened his eyes again, he felt at least able to form coherent words.

[brown]“Please, Merodi,”[/brown] he asked her, rubbing her cheek gently with his calloused palm. He could only hope it would offer her some comfort. [brown] “Just explain to me. Tell me why. I still don’t understand!”[/brown] Koga wanted her to be absolutely plain about it. She wasn’t giving him any information he could work with to find a solution, and he wouldn’t stop asking her questions until he told her something useful. He wanted to know the cause of the problem, not just the effects.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

The deer demon closed her eyes for a moment. Don't breakdown. She begged herself not to break down. A few tears slipped out and she tried to wipe them away. Something that was kind of hard to do with his hand on her cheek. "What do you think..." she began, but paused because she felt the breakdown coming on. She took a deep breath and continued. "Soothsayer-sama meant when he took away his blessing?"

Finally Merodi broke down. She sobbed, but continued to speak even so. Her voice cracked and she felt like a kid again, crying and upset over someone taking her favorite toy. But this was much more precious then a toy. "T-that was my blessing! Mine! And now it's gone, I'll never be able sing again!"

[Aiko]

With his one hand already cupping her cheek, it was a simple and reflexive task for Koga to use his thumb to wipe tears from the deer demon’s face. His pallid eyes narrowed even further at Merodi’s words, his heavy brow furrowing in anger. Soothsayer. How could Koga not hate the deer demon-god-thing? He had tried to tear his mate and daughter from him! And now he had caused Merodi pain. Like a red-hot fireball was welling in the pit of his stomach, the wolf demon felt his rage brewing and growing. He didn’t know how Soothsayer had done it, but he knew now that he had. [brown]“How dare he?”[/brown] Koga whispered, his voice a guttural growl.

Tears were streaking down Merodi’s cheeks faster than Koga could wipe them away, and her body was wracked with sobs. A keen pain ached within her mate’s chest, a desperate kind of hurting that only served to feed his anger. His love was hurting! He pulled her close to him, pressing her against his armored chest and putting the hand that had been on her cheek against the back of her head. He wanted her to sob against him, use him as a support until she didn’t need to cry any more. The wolf demon snaked his arm around Merodi’s waist. [brown]“It’ll be okay,”[/brown] he vowed quietly, standing still and strong for the deer demon. He was here for her, in her time of crying and suffering. He would hold her until she didn’t need it any more.

And then, when she stopped crying, he would go and make everything better.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

It took a long time for Merodi to finally calm down. And to herself, it seemed like an eternity of tears that had never been shed. A few moments, and she wasn't sure what she was crying about. There was so much more she held in. All the time. And suddenly it was released. As if her songs wasn't the only blessing, but the control and stability she once had; she once grew up with. "H-how will it be okay?" she asked after a moment as she held onto him tightly. Just in case she couldn't keep herself up on her own. If she hadn't just lost stability in her emotions, but her muscles as well. "He's the god of song, of all the talent, of all that I had. He's the one who gave it to me, and he can take it away." she pulled away slightly, looking up at him. "So how will it be okay?"