Fear [Closed]

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Sesshomaru didn't perticularly understand. He didn't know that his question would make her cry. How upset it would make her. Her words were rather confusing to him. Desires? Such desires are normal for any demon, Sesshomaru even had such desires, it was nothing to be ashamed of. The....new moon? He didn't understand. Why did these things happen on the new moon? He knew that she turned human on the full moon. There shouldn't be any other time of change for a hanyou.

I was hoping that I might die...

Those words shocked Sesshomaru, that he almost missed the rest of her sentence. Would she truly go that far? To end her life? He didn't want to think about it. If he hadn't been in the picture, she probably would, wouldn't she? It was so hard to believe. That Brigantia would want to die. He was relieved that she had said that, in her own words, that she won't do it.

She would still continue to stand by his side. Even though his mind was still plagued that she was suffering so, and he could not help her. At first, Sesshomaru didn't respond to Brigantia as she clung to him, but after a second he allowed his arm to snake around her waist and hold her close. Even to him, Rin and Jaken didn't exist in this room. It was just him and Brigantia. Of course ,that wasn't so. But it didn't matter. Rin was asleep, and Jaken was distracting himself so he wouldn't have to watch the scene.

"What happens on the New Moon?" he asked her. He would ask her many questions until he understood everything. He needed to know what was going on. What was going to happen, what he was getting himself into.

[Birdie]

She began to explain in a steady voice. His arsm arround her seemed to calm the little butterfly considerably. "It is not a physical change, as on the full moon. This change is mental. During the new moon I am at my weakest... Because the moon is the source of our powers. It rests on a celestial plane, as does most of me. Because I am the weakest then, My real nature, what I hide, what I try to control, tries to force it's way out. I can remember, when I was little, to keep the villagers safe I was locked with in my room for those days..." She paused, closing her eyes, deeply ashamed at this last bit of information.

"Lately Epsilon has been trying to push her way out. It scares me. I don't want to kill any more people.... I do not want more blood on my hands." She murmured, her breathing was slightly labored. She was still feverish. "What if I try to kill you." was the last she could say. Her mouth had become dry. Tears were on the verge of appearing again. She was struggling to stay awake, to answer any more questions he had. Why did she have to be so god damned weak?

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Sesshomaru listened intently to her words, all of it starting to slowly make sense to him. So the new moon was where she was at her weakest....A time where Epsilon could take over The demon lord did not have any fear of Epsilon. She was still only a mere female. Ah, the arrogance and stubborness of a inu-taiyokai. He thoughts turned from Epsilon, to having her locked in her room. That would be a good way to keep her from killing anyone. If he actually cared of the lives that she killed. He had no room to lock her in, however.

Sesshomaru let the thoughts passed and payed attention to the rest of the things that she was saying. That last sentence that had spilled from her mouth left him feeling almost insulted. Epsilon could try all she wanted, he was still a powerful demon lord. He wouldn't die that easily. His arm that was around her waist tightened just an inch, forcing her body to flush against his own. He could sense how upset she was, and was trying his best to comfort her without having to say anything.

"You could not kll me." he stated bluntly. He truly believed that she, or Epsilon, could not do him harm. Of course, there was some doubt, but his stubborn pride would not let him be even wary of the hanyou butterfly. "You are tired." he stated, changing the subject in case she tried to argue over his arrogance. "You should go back to sleep." with that said his arm released its hold on her waist to allow her to lay down and rest for a while longer. They wouldn't leave this hut until he was sure that she was a hundred percent better.

Though he wondered...if she had ever been at a hundred percent...

[Birdie]

SHe merely nodded. Oh she knew she would never be able to kill him. Epsilon knew it too. But Epsilon did know what it would mentally do to him to have the body of something he held dear attack him. Epsilon was not foolish. Perhaps she would not try to hurt him. Brigantia was comforted with this thought. She lay on the futon, curling silently into a ball, the covers going over her head to hide her shivering form. She wanted to hurry up and get better, leave this place that made Epsilon's blood boil with excitement. SHe wante dto leave, go anywhere. The New moon was drawing close. It ment danger for her sanity. For she knew she would never be able to live with so many people's blood on her hands... She could barely live with herself now... She lived for him. She lived because of him. She took better care of herself because she knew that is what he wanted.

She would strive to be happy. To be the sort of person he would want. She wanted to banish these surpressive feelings away. But she could not. A part of her clinged to it, a piece of her that was rebelious, the piece that did not belong to Sesshomaru, nor Birgantia, that piece that she would never come to terms with. Epsilon.

Dreams were not wonderful things... not feverish dreams. Not these dreams. They made her want to cry out, to cling tos omething, but her lips never opened, her body never moved. She would not. She would not be a burden. She refused.

Her fingers curled around the edge of the blanket, the sounds of rain completely gone. Her eyes were half lidded as she peeked out from underthe covers. Morning. It's sun shone upon her weakened frame, hidden beneath the cloth that kept her warm. She sat up, yawning, placing a feminine hand over her mouth. She could barely remember what happened during that night. All she knew was that she had told a secret... A secret she vowed she would never tell. Slowly her large black eyes looked in his direction. "We may leave this place." She told Sesshomaru. Her words were almost cold. She stood up, going to the door with out waiting for his reply.

She stood with the sun shining on her face. Yes, let us hurry and leave here! The memories she has... She wants to repeat them. Let us leave, now! Now while they still live.

There were people outside, but they seemed to be avoiding this hut. Brigantia, being the person she was, reached her hand towards the walls of the simple hut. She began to scratch words into the side. She then scratched a line through the runes of her ancient language. It had a spell of protection. It would work in about ten minutes,

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Sesshomaru watched her, his eyes never leaving her form until she was asleep. It was only then that he let his eyes move elsewhere. He glanced at his two wards. Jaken and Rin. Jaken, of course, looked like he was about to have a heart attack. It was the first time the toad had ever seen him being so fond with his mate. He must admit, if there had been any more people watching he wouldn't have allowed himself to do as he did. But, she had needed the comfort, and it had only been Jaken who had seen.

Sesshomaru continued to sit by Brigantia's side. Being the loyal gaurd dog he was. Of course if he ever realized that such a description fit him, he might have had a small fit in his head. Taiyokai's weren't supposed to be so close to there animal relatives. Glad thing that he had thought such a thing, only to be sarcastic when he sat there, staring at the lump underneath the blankets that was Brigantia. He stayed that way. Everyone was asleep, except for him. Even Jaken had dozed off through the silence of the hut.

Kami, it seemed like forever when the morning finally came and Brigantia awakened! Such impatient had he been, when he had nothing to do all night but to think. Think over Epsilon, over the new moon, over everything that had to do with his little butterfly. It seemed that she didn't find the need to even tell him good morning, for the first words to come out of her mouth were that they could leave. He had the mind to say something about it, but she had stood up and already left the hut.

Sesshomaru stood as well, walking toward Jaken to kick him in the side to wake him up and ordering him to wake Rin because it was time to go. After such an order he left the hut to follow Brigantia, finding her writing on the wooden wall on the hut. Raising a brow in curiousity, he decided to dismiss it and ask her later instead of now. She was still a bit upset. The demon lord scanned the area quickly with his eyes. It seemed that these humans were smarter then he gave them credit, for none would even dare look at him or the hut he had stolen for the night. He was done with this village. Tired of it, really, when he had only scene one small part of it. Once Rin and Jaken had joined them, he began to walk out of the village, and it seemed that the villagers once again took haven in there huts to stay out of his way. "Let us go then. he said, leading the way. Once they were away from the village, he would ask Brigantia his questions.

[Birdie]

She nodded finishing up her work. She stared at it silentely for a moment. She could feel the atres of hate from the villagers. They knew what she was. And they hated having to harbor a creature so close to the thing that had destroyed it during the Ancient Wars, She stared at them back. She then turned on her heel and left. Her fingers twitched a couple of times. She closed her eyes, humming a soft tune to herself as she allowed her antenea to be her eyes. She avoided anything that might trip her or hurt her with ease.

After they left the village, she began to feel better, more like her old self Bits of her 'true personality' were comming out. She had seemed to cold. OPening her eyes she caught up with Sesshomaru and spoke in a low, extremely apologizing tone. "Gomenasai. That place... It holds a fond memory for her. She was... becoming excited. It was hard to keep her under control... I was so... I was terrible this morning... I am ashamed." she whispered, looking at the ground as if it had something amazing. It was obvious that she felt bad about it.

"So, let me try again." She looked up at him with her large eyes. She seemed so innocent at that moment, almost like Rin, but with the body of someone much older. "To tell you the truth, I wa happy to wake up and see you still beside me. Itmakes me think of the times I would get sick at home, andmy father would sleep in the chair beside my bed. He would wake up because I would begin to laugh. He was always so worried about me during that time. Almost like you, but sometimes, I think you worry more.... And that makes me feel... better.... Like I am something more than just Epsilon. More than just the princess of my people." Her version of starting the morning over was deffiantely odd, but she figured it was better than what she had said earlier. "THank you."

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Sesshomaru continued to walk as the village got farther and farther away. They had lost a lot of ground because of that storm. There had been no sign of Naraku for a very long time. Well, except for Nero. Nero was the closest to Naraku that Sesshomaru would ever get. It was starting to irritate him how the evil hanyou was able to hide himself so well. The coward. His thoughts were cut off when Brigantia was suddenly at his side and speaking. He did not turn his head to look at her, but kept his gaze forward. Only looking at her from the corner of his eyes. He didn't really know why she was apologizing. In fact, he didn't find any need for her to apologize. He found nothing wrong with how she acted this morning. Well, she had been a bit in a rush but he hadn't minded it. There was no need to feel ashamed. Ah, well, it didn't matter. No need to tell her otherwise when it wouldn't change her opinion of herself.

Sesshomaru turned his head to look at her completely when she spoke of trying again. Trying again? He didn't even care to hide the confusion that came across his face. He couldn't find anything she did wrong this morning. Ah, well, if it made her feel better then she could go for it, he guessed. And so, he allowed her to say whatever she wanted to say, and act like he cared. Okay, he did care, but as in care that she was trying again on what she thought she had done wrong. Once she was done saying what she had to say, the only reply she received was a small nod. Mostly his way of saying 'you're welcome' when she had said thank you. With that said and done, he turned his attention back to the path he was walking.

"I am glad you are feeling better." he said, after a moment of silence. He didn't know why he said it, just thought it was something he should say. He didn't have very much to say anyway. She was better, and that was what mattered. He hated that he worried so much. Hated that he put her in front of everything else. Well, he didn't hate that he did that. He just hated the point that he knew she was his weakness. He knew she would be his downfall.

[Birdie]

"Hai... Thank you." She said softly, her eyes glancing up at him. The smile on her face grew. His smile. It would always be his smile. Ah, but behind that smile so much was hidden. She kept so many secrets, things he need not know. She was sure he also held things she need not know. Secrets... She did not like to keep them, but they were things that would only make life more complexe if known.

She sighed contentedly. Her fingers reached out and clasped his. She looked over her shoulder at Jaken and Rin, a small smile creeping onto her face, for them. She flushed at her action, but did not release his hand. She averted her eyes, her free hand raised to her lips in embaressment. She began to nibble on her lower lip, as was habbituary for the little butterfly.

SHe allowed her eyes sight to be raised to the sky. THe sun shone onto her face. She was happy to be here in nature again. "It should be comming into effect by now." she murmured to herself. Her large eyes watching clouds over head. Somehow she managed to step over tree roots and the like. SHe never tripped. She was an odd little creature. Perhaps she would be an enigma to him forever.