Just Keep Walking... [Merodi]

[Aiko]

Walking slow was kind of annoying, really. Had he been running, the copse of trees beside the river would have been long left behind. As it was, the trees were still somewhat in sight, though not as sharp and definite as they had been before. Ahead stretched the Hijeri Meadow, not terribly long, yet it would probably take an hour or two more to cross. Walking was quite irksome, really, when compared to the breathless running across fields and through forests, the feeling of legs stretching sinuously and feet hitting against the ground for a moment before flashing through the air.

This monotonous plodding was threatening to drive Koga up the wall.

But it really was worth it, wasn’t it? Not that he felt as though they were getting anywhere, but it kept Merodi from falling behind. However, he supposed he was walking a bit too fast, anyway, seeing as she was behind anyway. Or perhaps that was just her way. The demure demon would probably terrified by the prospect of walking ahead of the wolf demon, for whatever reason she had concocted in her completely crazy little head. In any case, Koga didn’t see her ahead, which was where he was blankly staring, feeling bored by this endless stumping across the field.

It was getting gradually more difficult to keep walking, instead of letting his impatience take over like it usually did, and charging across the rest of the field in about two seconds. Koga felt like he probably could manage it in that short a time. Thoughtful, he considered racing off, just for a moment. Then he’d return to Merodi, yeah, of course. But then… what if some oni came along, yet again, and ripped open her back, yet again? He wasn’t sure if the slashes were fully healed, though he hoped they were. She was practically an accident waiting to happen. No, he couldn’t leave her behind. Besides, he’d already had his recent scare, when he thought she’d left.

What would happen to her if he left her for too long? She’d probably get eaten or something. Though the thought was meant to be funny, Koga felt his muscles tighten, and his hands clenched into fists. Just let someone try it. He’d give him something to eat, alright, and it came in the form of a smashing fist.

No. Easy, Koga. He’d probably just end up scaring Merodi again if he kept walking so stiffly. He had to relax. He forced his muscles to slacken, and his jaw ached. Had he been clenching it? Apparently. He just needed to relax. This plodding along was just getting to his head, that was all. He was starting to get bored enough to stop and sit down, not that he was tired or anything, but just because he would be getting just as far as he would if he kept walking. So he felt, anyway. It was seriously driving him insane.

No, he had to keep walking. For Merodi’s sake. She’d probably panic if he ran off.

Where was she, anyway? Behind him, still? Stopping, Koga turned around to look.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Tail...

Merodi had never truly noticed Koga's tail before. She didn't know if it was a true tail like hers, or attached to the pelt he wore around his waist. It seemed to wag as he walked, which was surprising enough that he was walking. She loved this pace, including when she seemed to be completely content in watching that tail sway back and forth. It looked really soft, and she had the urge to touch it...but of course that would be the last thing she would ever do. How humiliating would that be, suddenly coming up to Koga and pet his tail.

Something told her that he wouldn't like that...

Merodi hadn't minded the faster pace, though it left her exhausted afterwords. It was what he was used to, she could guess easily. And he could at least go a little faster then walking, she wouldn't have minded that. Of course, she didn't mind what pace he took as long as she could keep up with him, and he felt comfortable in the pace he so chose. She didn't know of his annoyance to walking so slow. Which to her wasn't slow at all, it was just a normal way to travel. One that took up more time, but allowed you to save energy. This was the way she normally traveled, since she had needed energy to run if there was an enemy.

Merodi didn't even notice Koga's stiffening walk, didn't notice his annoyance in walking so slow, she was busy staring at his tail, but it could also seem as if she was staring at another part of the body, which if she had would make her blush horribly. When he stopped, she stopped and brought her gaze away from the oh so soft tail to meet his gaze.

"Hm?" she asked him, still thinking of the tail while she asked such a thing. Finally, her thoughts died from something so simple and she was able to look at him with confusion and curiosity in her eyes. Why did he stop? Did he sense something? Did he want to travel faster now?

[Aiko]

Merodi seemed bemused, curious, but, beneath that, content with this ambling pace. Koga heard his mind sigh inwardly. If that was what she wanted…

But really, now, what did she want? Staring into her deep, chocolaty eyes, the wolf demon thought back, digging into his memories. He had basically forced his gentle companion on this wayward journey, hadn’t he? Yes, he remembered now, dragging her along with that half-demon freak. For whatever reason, Merodi had chosen to stay with him instead of going with her old friend, but why? What did she want out of all this? Surely, she didn’t think that a walking trip with a wolf demon was enough to leave old friends behind.

So why…?

Koga stared into those brown eyes, those huge coffee-colored eyes. What was going on behind them? Was she really as happy as she seemed to be? All he’d seen was that confusion, was that inquisitiveness, so had he imagined that she looked content? He felt that, if he stared long enough, he might find the answers. That, and those eyes were just pretty to look at. Such a dark, gentle gaze, such an innocent one, that Merodi possessed, he found himself unable to look away. Those eyes were so different from his…

Inexplicably, Koga found himself taking a few steps towards the deer demon, but his eyes held the only emotion that he was feeling in particular at the moment: wondering. He stopped about a foot away, conscious of being so close, but wanting a better look at those eyes, those dark depths that held the secret mind of Merodi. It sounded intriguing, but all he figured he’d see from it were those deep, soulful, chocolate-colored surfaces. Slowly, his electric gaze traveled over the rest of her face, looking at her as though he’d never seen her before. The way her face sloped smoothly down to her small nose, the way her face was the color of snow while the rest of her was more of a bracken-like tone…

But her face, no matter how interesting to look at, didn’t give him any answers. Even so, a realization came to Koga. His companion was very, very pretty… That was strange, how had he never noticed before? Strangely unembarrassed at the moment, the wolf demon’s eyes traveled from her hair to lock with her gaze again, and it was, strangely, thoughtful.

“Are you happy?” he asked, blunt and guileless as ever.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Why...was he staring at her? That was the first thought that came to mind when he stood, his back against their path and staring into her eyes as if there was actually something interesting about them. Of course, she knew there wasn't. Her's were just normal brown, uninteresting to many of her species. It was the blue of his eyes that seemed so interesting. She was starting to become nervous under his gaze. What was he thinking? Why was he coming closer? Did they need to go back? She felt confused, but she couldn't break Koga's stare. She had to stare back. She didn't know what to do, what to say, or what the heck he was doing.

Merodi gulped, seeing his gaze leave her eyes to the rest of her face. What was he thinking? Why was he staring? She felt so small, so insignificant under the gaze of the might wolf, those bright blue eyes. She racked her brain, for something she was supposed to do, something she was supposed to say. She had never been in this sort of situation before. His words caught her by surprise as her eyes widened for a moment, her ears perking upward as if she hadn't completely heard what he said. She had heard him correctly, she knew, but Merodi also knew that it didn't seem like Koga to ask such a question.

Was she happy...?

Such a thing seemed so unlike Koga, and the look on his face, he was completely serious and she couldn't seem to find words to answer him. She was happy, right? No...no, she wasn't. She didn't know if she could ever be. Even so, she smiled through the haunting of her past. "I'm as happy as I could ever be, Koga." and as she spoke those words, the more they seemed real, and after she spoke his name she truly felt happy, and she gave him a bright smile.

[Aiko]

“Yeah… yeah, okay.” Alright, she was happy… a little alarmingly so, with that bright little smile on her face, but hey, maybe that’s just the way she showed. It certainly beat clapping her hands. But anyway, okay. Alright, he’d assured himself that Merodi was apparently happy with doing what she was doing… whatever that was. Koga spun around and began to stalk back down the meadow, walking a little faster than he’d intended. All the while, he refused to look back at her.

Now that he’d gotten that for an answer, not to mention her uncertain look as he scrutinized her face, he wondered thus: What the hell brought that on, anyway? What should it matter to him whether or not she was happy? It shouldn’t! Besides, she wasn’t complaining, was she? That should’ve been plain indication that she was doing just dandy, so why’d he have to go and ask her? Unfortunately, the answer was painstakingly obvious, which was why he was forcing himself to keep marching on, refusing to let himself glance back even to make sure she was following.

Koga was actually starting to care about what Merodi thought.

Okay, so maybe he’d been traveling with her way too long. He should never have told her to come along, because, forgetting about how she was pitter-pattering after him like a living, breathing shadow, he was starting to enjoy her company. Weirder, though, he was starting to try to make sure she was happy. He should just run off, right now. She’d never keep up, and then he’d stop waiting…

But now that he’d heard she was happy with whatever they were doing, he couldn’t just run off, could he? First of all, that’d be just plain mean-spirited of him, and Koga personally thought he was above all that, despite how hypocritical said thoughts were. Besides, she’d, as aforementioned, probably just hurt herself. Alright, nobody was going to hurt her anymore, the sons of bitches…

Spinning around, Koga announced, “That’s it! I’m staying with you!” Said announcement given, he spun back, and continued on his death march across the field.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Merodi stared at Koga as he stomped off, her brows furrowed in confusion before she began to follow him at her normal, slower pace. Had she...said the wrong thing? Was she not supposed to be happy? He didn't seem to have liked her answer very much and at that moment her happyness had died away. She bit her lower lip nervously, watching his quick stride. She quickened her pace just a little, her steps a little awkward when she tried to keep up, but also continue to walk.

Finally, she sighed and gave up trying to keep up with him. She slowed her pace until she was walking casually, watching Koga as he got farther and farther away. He was about five, six feet away when he suddenly yelled to the world that he was staying with her. She stopped completely, looking at him like he was the most insane person in the world. Her brows furrowed, more and more confusion growing as he turned and continued to walk.

Staying with her...? What in seven hells did he mean by that?

"Um...okay then..." she didn't know why she replied, but for some reason it had came from her mouth. She didn't really understand what he meant, but it didn't matter that much...

Merodi sighed once again, her eyes narrowing it annoyance for just a moment before she actually looked around and realized where they were. She paused for a moment, plucking a few bloomed flowers and then jogging to catch up with Koga. She slowed her pace once she got closer and began nibbling on the flower, petal by petal. Nibbling silenly as she went back to watching Koga's tail. With his pace it wagged even more. She wondered what it would be like if he was really happy and it truly starting to wag. She stiffled back a giggle at the thought.

[Aiko]

Whoa! What was that? Instinctively, Koga paused, eyes straining. Despite the many advantages he had when it came to his senses, particularly scent, the nose only knows that you can’t smell when the wind’s blowing away from your target. Said target consisted of a series of white splotches in the nearby grass, on a tawny canvas rather than the usual green-gold. Only a moment later, though, he recognized the distinctive curvature of a flank, the semi-rough texture of fur, that telltale pattern on the creature’s coat.

It was a deer.

Apparently, it was relying on its camouflage to hide it from Koga’s keen notice. They had a tendency to do that, but it was to no avail. Having not much else to distract him in his monotonous plodding, the wolf demon was bound to notice the demure creature lounging around in the grass. Who wouldn’t notice a nice slab of steak lying practically right in front of them?

Comparatively, Koga wasn’t hungry. But who would pass up a chance at food?

It wouldn’t run. It couldn’t. He would catch it before it even realized its ploy had failed. Its death was imminent, swooping in on it in the form of a suddenly ravenous wolf demon. Yes, Koga could see it now, capturing it for an afternoon snack before it could think another thought. But where would be the sport in that? He should probably scare it, let it know it had been seen, watch it bound clumsily away for a few paces, then run it down. Okay, so it wasn’t exactly a sporting chance, seeing as the end was still the same, but it was better than leaping on it and killing it in cold blood. The thrill of the hunt was an instinctive pleasure for the predator, as anyone could name some other instinctive pleasures. Oh, yes, to feel the adrenaline pulsing through your veins as you ran down your prey… it was almost too much to pass up.

But that wasn’t an issue, because Koga wasn’t passing up a golden opportunity like this.

Going with Plan B, he gave his quarry the most violent glare he could summon and forced an animal snarl out of his throat, his throat reverberating with it. This was all part of the hunt, after all, the whole animal instinct thing.

Speaking of instinct, the deer seemed to realize it had been found out. Startled, it heaved itself to its four feet - almost painfully slow to watch, thought Koga - and bounded off. Of course, compared to the damage Koga could do when it came to running, the thing might as well have been taking a lazy afternoon stroll. A feral grin pulled at the demon’s mouth. This was all almost too easy…

Blood pulsing through his veins like lava, mind focused on his prey, the demon bent slightly at the knees… and then he was off, closing the distance. A second before he hit the deer -- a half second -- a quarter -- not even…

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Merodi was so distracted by her little snack that she had barely noticed that he had stopped. And instinctively, she stopped as well, and yet didn't question him at the moment, too busy on nibbling on the last petal. Though his sudden crouch caught her attention, she finally looked toward him. Was there danger? Merodi looked around, and yet had seen nothing. There was nothing at all that seemed wrong about this clearing.

The growl only confused Merodi more, and suddenly something moved through the tall grass, and a deer clumsily got to its feet and ran for it. Merodi's eyes widened, seeing Koga take off after it. No, no, no, no, no!! What was he doing? Her blood ran cold, and it was all too easy to realize what was going on.

It was painful to watch, the deer seemed to move in slow motion compared to Koga...it would never survive, never get away, never have a life more then this meadow. Her mind told her to run, but she stayed in place, where could she run to? What would be the point? Koga...he had to eat too, right? But Ookami had at least been sincere enough to hunt away from her.

And as Koga got closer and closer, milli-second, by milli-second, Merodi felt the deer's fear, felt its heart racing in her chest, and did what the deer couldn't do, call for help in an ear splitting scream. It echoed through the whole entire forest, birds flying from their perches and flapping away for a more peaceful area. Finally, when Merodi was out of breath she was left panting, hugging herself tightly as she fell to her knees. Her eyes clenched shut. No, she couldn't watch what was happening now.

This would be her feint one day...a wolf yokai, or just a plain wolf, or maybe something else...but it will always be the fate of a deer, to become lunch for something else. But to see it...for a few seconds she believed that she had been that deer....

[Aiko]

The chase was over. The thrill ride was over. The hunt was done. Koga tackled the deer to the ground, gripping it between strong arms, constricting it. Coarse fur under his tight skin, the frantic rise and fall of the doomed creature’s flanks, he could feel it all in his tight grip, up to each of the other being’s muscles flexing under his grasp as it kicked uselessly, frantically trying to escape. Being as fast as he was, the wolf demon was doomed, he guessed, to have a shortened enjoyment of the hunt. There was no chance left in it.

Still, the deer was an excellent catch, if Koga did say so himself. There was enough meat on its bones to feed two, and the wolf demon wasn’t exactly a light eater. Which reminded him…

Glancing around, feeling exceptionally pleased with himself for his speed and skill, thought still not allowing the deer to bolt away, he looked for Merodi, looking for some admiring stare… or something like that. Obviously, then, he wasn’t expecting the blatant horror that his timid companion showed in her squeezed-shut eyes, her arms clamped around herself as tightly as his were around his quarry, and then her ear-ripping screams echoing around in the clear space.

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!

The soft brown hue of her fur-skin, the gentle rounding of her ears, her very scent… they were all too similar to those of the creature he threatened to kill with his tight grasp alone. Had he really forgotten that Merodi, too, was a <i>deer,</i> even if she was also demon? Well, there was that fine line between demon and dumb beast, like the line between human and ape. They weren’t the same in most respects, but there was that undercurrent that connected the species.

Just because Merodi was demon didn’t demolish her relationship with the deer.

And that relationship caused her to feel the pain of this animal.

Sickening. That’s what this whole mess was. Koga hadn’t killed humans since he’d met Kagome. Killing this deer would be just as bad. Despicable. That’s how he felt for this whole fiasco. He shouldn’t have even given the deer a second thought. Stupid, stupid, stupid! What was he thinking? He might as well be murdering Merodi and eating her! How low could he go? Realizing all of this, he loosened his grip on his prey. No, not his prey. This animal that he would never hunt again. It wriggled away, bounding off across the fields. What did he expect? A thank you? Not really, and he didn’t regret letting the creature go. Slowly, he rose to his full height, watching the russet form weave away across the rippling ocean of grass.

And he let it go.

Turning his back on the fleeing form, Koga felt a sense of finality. Okay. Humans were off the menu. Now deer were, too.

Okay… now he had to deal with Merodi. Crap, she’d probably be terrified of him now. Kagome wasn’t exactly happy with him at first, either, if he recalled correctly (which maybe he didn’t). Regardless, Koga wouldn’t harm her. Not now, not ever. He promised himself that as he felt himself walking towards her. Watching her unblinkingly, he felt the strangest feeling come over him.

Yeah, he’d protect her. He was pretty sure he’d established that a while back. But she was so… delicate. He had to be her shield. But that was only a part of what he felt at the moment. Was it… Nah. Couldn’t be. But why did he feel so…? He couldn’t quite place the right word. Was it…

…gentle?

He wanted her to stop being so scared. He wanted it almost more than anything else in the world. She looked so upset, so terrified. No. He didn’t want to be the cause of that. How could he have? And how could he atone for it? He could be gentle. He would prove it, too, with something more than the look in his eyes.

The distance was crossed, his mind full of thoughts of what he could do. Think, think, think, was that all he ever did? It seemed to be something he did a lot more nowadays, and it was kind of annoying. He should just go with his instincts, like he always did. With this as his final distinctive thought, he dropped to his knees, to be closer to Merodi’s level. She was so upset… he had to stop it. Make things right, that’s what he should do. He let the deer go, that was something. But he had to prove he could be gentle, too.

Koga realized he was breathing a little fast, a result of his running around. He forced his lungs to draw in each breath with care, extending to fill his lungs. A calm aura: that’s what he needed to show her. Not some crazed, psychopathic killer’s. Gentleness: that’s another thing he needed to show her. Right. He swallowed.

This was all very new to him, trying to be so gentle and careful. But he hoped he was doing a decent job. Slowly, Koga extended his arm, flexed his fingers out to gently brush against the back of the deer demon’s right hand, doing his best to do all of this as soothingly as possible. Please, he begged her mentally, don’t be so scared.

“Merodi?”

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Merodi continued to keep her eyes closed. She had them closed to tight that she was starting to see different colors behind her eyelids. Koga's touch made her stiffen for a moment, and she allowed herself to slowly relax the tightness on her eyes, slowly opening them as he said her name. She raised her head, meeting his eyes, the horror still not leaving her eyes. She let in a deep breath before pushing herself forward, wrapping her arms around Koga's sides and pulling herself close to him, hiding her face against his chest, the armor was cold against her skin and it helped a lot with the blood that pumped wildly through her veins.

For a few seconds her breathing was erratic, her arms shaking from around his sides. She tried to calm herself, finding comfort in Koga, even though it was him that he caused the fear in her. She didn't care. She didn't blame him. She could never blame it on Koga. Merodi could only find excuses for him. One, would be that he was hungry. Two would be that it was just instinct.

In fact, she felt guilty for reacting as she did. It would be because of her that he could starve, just because she didn't like what she saw. She hated herself to think that she had ruined the hunt for him because of her reaction to it. He needed to eat too. He was a wolf! Of course he would eat as any other...

Merodi was slowly calming down, but she wasn't planning on letting him go any time soon. She knew already that the deer had gotten away, safe and sound. And she felt guilty that it had gotten away. How selfish of her. He needed to eat too! She wanted to say something. What could she say? What could she do?

The little shika did, say, the only thing that she knew the best. "I-I'm sorry...I shouldn't have...reacted like that..."

[Aiko]

The feel of the back of Merodi’s hand was different from the coarse, oily hairs of the deer. Somehow, she was softer, almost feebler he might say, but in this way it was so much tenderer. It reminded Koga of just how gentle he had to be. Of course, he wasn’t expecting her to suddenly reach forward and cling to him, drawing herself closer.

Uh…

To say the least, that was unexpected. Merodi was shaking against him; Koga could feel every vibration of her skin against his. Somehow, he had managed to keep his arms out of the deer demon’s grasp, and he held them up awkwardly, unsure of what to do with them, or any part of himself, actually. He wasn’t even sure how to react, really. He had been preparing himself for the more timid demon to flinch away, and him have to chase after her. He didn’t prepare himself, therefore, for her to pull herself into his chest. Why did it have to be his chest? Probably, she could hear his heart thumping against his ribcage.

But then again, he couldn’t say that this was an unwelcome sensation. Soft, velvety skin against him, what little of it he felt outside his armor, rapid but soft breathing echoing gently against the metal, and the soft fragrance of Merodi rushed in on his senses. The smell of the deer demon was some combination of sweet-scented meadow grasses from early in the spring, and of late-summer flowers. All in all, these were, Koga had to admit to himself, not the worst sensations in the world. Quite possibly, they were more like the best.

He felt the blood rush to his face at that revelation.

And then Merodi’s words, half-muffled because of her face being so close to his chest, reached Koga’s ears. He came very close to snorting in laughter. What was this nonsense? Was the deer demon really that much of an idiot? Jeez, one of the infinitesimally few times that the wolf demon admits he was in the wrong shows up, and the one he wronged starts apologizing! Did she even realize how hard it was, normally, for him to admit his mistakes? Could she even fathom that she was one of the infinitesimally few who might have, and might yet, hear the words “sorry” and “please” come from his mouth?

Deer really were dumb!

Then again, as was the painfully obvious (much as many other things Koga did and felt), Merodi was different from most deer… and most demons, for that matter. The wolf demon felt a smile stretch the corners of his mouth, seemingly of its own accord, and his arms slowly lowered. Gently, trying to match her grasp, he wrapped his arms around the other demon. Now he could better feel that silk-velvet texture of her skin-fur, and he very slowly tightened his arms around her, hands resting on her back and pulling her just the tiniest bit closer to him.

In case you were wondering, Koga was just going with the flow of his emotions, doing whatever came to mind. His philosophy was, after all, if he did something wrong, he couldn’t be that off target, because he had taken the shot.

Slowly, he bent his head to rest his chin and lower lip against Merodi’s hair. Her soft, well-kept hair. It, too, seemed to hold the fragrances of summer and spring. He inhaled slightly, drawing these scents deep into his lungs.

“Shaddap,” he murmured, voice slightly muffled by her hair.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Merodi didn't know what to expect after her apology. Though she knew that he could care less. It was just...something she knew the best to do. Something she knew the best to say. There was nothing smart, or something that actually meant anything, that could come from her more then an apology. Throughout her life she had always apologized. It had always been expected from others that she took the blame. She had to apologize, had to beg for forgiveness when she had been with the human lord. It was not easy to forget, it was not east to get rid of a habit that had kept her alive.

The thoughts came to an end as she felt Koga's arms wrap around her. It was something she had not expected from him. She hadn't even known how he would react to have a frightened dear suddenly cling to him as she was. The last thing she had expected was for him to hug her back. And she could feel herself being pulled even closer to him. Koga's arms around her made her feel secure, and her shock and emberasment of being in such a predicament melted away as she thought of nothing more then his warmth, and the overwhelming feeling that she was safe.

A small smile came across her face as he spoke. Well, she guessed that could be a way of him accepting her apology. She didn't feel guilty anymore, that was for sure. Merodi, for some odd reason uknown to her, couldn't think of anywhere else she'd rather be.

And though it hurt inside to know, that it couldn't last forever. Taking one last deep breath through her nose, letting in his scent, and then letting out that breath in a small sigh, she began to loosen her grip on Koga. "Thank you..." she muttered, her smile reaching her voice. "I feel much better." Hesitantly, she began to pull away from his grasp, already regretting the action.

But she couldn't be selfish. He probably didn't even like hugging her like that. He only did that so she would calm down...and he kind of had no choice with her suddenly hugging him like that. Truly, she couldn't believe she had done it in the first place. How could she! And even now, as she thought back on it, she was emberassed with herself for thinking many of the things she had thought.

Could she truly wish to stay in the arms of a wolf....?