No Escaping Your Fate [Closed]

[Birdie]

"Oh..."

Liar. How could you say some random chick's name and not know who it belonged to. But then, Tsuyoi was not his. There was no point in getting all upset about it. Kouhei wasn't really the type to get all that jealous. He would wish their love, though that seemed highly unlikely, well.

Kouhei turned and hooked his fingers on the chain link fence. They had put it up a couple of years ago, he heard. It used to be just a rail. It seemed some kid had thrown herself off the building roof. She had only been seriously injured. She hadn't died. Apparently her boyfriend broke up with her. Kouhei pressed his forehead against the fence and tried to think of what it would be like to throw himself off of a building because he was told he wasn't loved anymore. It seemed an idiotic thing to do... and yet, strangely freeing. He wouldn't have to deal with the fact that the gods played a little trick on him by sticking him in the wrong body.

The okama brought his eyes from the world below and looked up at the sky. His forehead had an imprint of the fence on it, only slight. It seen disappeared. He breathed in deeply as he watched a cloud float lazily over head. Such a happy, albeit cool day. "Neh... Sempai, what would it be like... to be a cloud?" Bright green eyes looked up at his friend, curiously. A half smile positioned its self on his lips.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Tsuyoi continued to wonder about the name, but nothing came to mind. Who was Brigantia? Why didn't he know? Could he just not remember? He tried to, but he recalled nothing. Surely he hadn't been so drunk he blurted out random made up girl names. There were too many things to think about and he was fine with the silence.

The question ruined his thoughts though. He sighed, slowly turning his head and looking at Kouhei. "Why would you want to be a cloud?" he asked, brows furrowing. A cloud of all things.

[Birdie]

"Because," Kouhei replied "Because you wouldn't be tied down. You could be free and go where ever you wished. You wouldn't be bogged down by the silly human emotions and thoughts we are all tortured with... But... I think I'd really just like to fly." [/b]There were some days when the spot between his shoulder blades would ache and he would reached behind and it would almost feel as if he had wings. There were times when he wished he could just jump into the sky and flitter about like a bird... or the butterflies he saw. He laughed lightly.

"I know sempai is not the type of person to think about silly things like being a cloud or flying. But I thought I'd ask anyway. You looked like you were a bit troubled. If you'd rather I kept silent I'll try, but chances are I'll blurt out something silly." Kouhei let his fingers fall from the fence and he took a few paces away from both it and Tsuyoi. "Perhaps I should go? I've been nothing but a burden lately." He nibbled his lower lip and watched Tsuyoi, waiting for the answer.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

"A burden?" Tsuyoi asked, staring at Kouhei. "I'm surprised you wish to be here. Are you not bothered with how I acted that night?" He meant the kiss. Oh, that kiss. That kiss would haunt him forever. And if it wasn't the other things that were on his mind, he might be thinking about it too much. He might be constantly staring at the boy's lips, or, hell, kissing him again and this time he would be able to know the feeling. At least remember it. He looked away, catching himself staring at the lips of a guy! What the hell was wrong with him?! He wasn't gay!

That wasn't it though, he knew it was Kouhei's feminism. The girlish appearance. That cute, innocent girl that was in Kouhei. That was what he saw, he felt for. The only problem was Kouhei was not a girl. And even if he was a girl, would things be different? Would he be more willing to express his attraction to him...well, her in the situation in his head.

[Birdie]

Kouhei laughed lightly and shook his head, making his silvery hair flash as it caught the sun. "No way. You'd never be a burden to me. You're my idol. There is nothing you could do that would make me think badly of you." Kouhei's smile faltered only for a moment as he went on. "That night you were wasted. And I looked like a girl. If it were under normal circumstances you would have never done that. And I've been kissed by enough guys to know that. Besides, you don't really remember and so its erased from my mind as well." It wasn't. he thought about it constantly. But he would never say so. He would never voice any of his thoughts about what happened that night. He would never lay out his feelings.

"So then, I'm not a burden?" He asked, green eyes looking up at Tsuyoi oh so innocently. He awaited his reply with some impatience. It wasn't as if Tsuyoi was the only friend he had. He could eat with Anja and all of those other friends. Or he could eat with his sex friend. That was the person who did something to him that night. He wouldn't let Tsuyoi know that though. He'd probably get mad, think Kouhei was whoring himself out again. But Kouhei had sworn off that life. But then, Tsuyoi also knew that he was his type.

((Damn, I can't remember what I named him XP))

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Tsuyoi's eyes narrowed, taking in Kouhei's response. That kiss hadn't bothered him at all. To him it was just some friend that got drunk and acted like a fool. Nothing more to it. Kouhei had already forgiven him, already put it out of his mind. Tsuyoi found it almost insulting. Was the boy not attracted to him at all? He hated this. All the feelings, and the thoughts. The urges and his inability to control them as much as he wished. It was so because he was staring at Kouhei's lips again. The question took a while to seep in while he was staring and he looked back to those large green eyes and didn't know which was least appealing to stare at. They both were too much, so he looked away.

"It will be difficult for me to be around you. Although it always has been." The truth made him emberassed. Including when it was admitting something that was difficult to him...and something that had to do with Kouhei. He wouldn't meet the boy's gaze. "But no, you're not a burden."

((Hatsuharu, I think))

[Birdie]

Kouhei frowned at this. Difficult. Why? Ah, it was because he was an okama right? It didn't seem cross dressing had sat very well with Tsuyoi. He couldn't help it. He was really a girl after all. And perhaps he was feeling a bit guilty bout the kiss? "Don't think about it too much and everything will be like normal, right?" That was how Kouhei got over things. He kept his mind busy with other stuff. He reached up a slender hand and poked the center of Tsuyoi's forehead. With that he wandered to the middle of the roof. Here he plopped down and leaned back. He was staring at the sky. There were very few clouds up there, but he still watched. He made clouds up in his mind. Busy. That was how he kept himself from thinking too much.

((Oh yeah.... hum, now what?))

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Tsuyoi's frown deepened and the words spoken by Kouhei bother him. It made him angry, and he watched the girlish boy move elsewhere. Light brown eyes stuck on Kouhei. He clenched his jaw, and tried to keep himself silenced but he could not. "There was never a normal." He said, moving away from the fence and standing above Kouhei. "Ever since I met you, nothing has been normal." If Kouhei questioned him, would he confess? What it was that made things not normal. Tsuyoi would face whatever questions, whatever happened. He would not cower from it. He would not hide it.

[Birdie]

Kouhei titled his head back slightly so he could stare up at Tsuyoi. A tiny grin appeared on the boy's lips. He tilted his head to the side as he listened, looking a bit like a curious cat. "Define normal." [/b]He most definitely would never fit the mold of 'normal'. Crossdressing was not the favored hobby of men about the world, at least, not most men. "Really, what was it like before I showed up in your life?" He was curious. Tsuyoi never talked about himself. He wanted to know. Tsuyoi already knew what was normal back before he had shown up in Kouhei's life. And that normal was not a good sort of normal. Kouhei learned to get along with out his strange job... though he had found something slightly similar which catered to his crossdressing habits. It wasn't as if he slept with anyone. It was just waitressing.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Define normal...

Tsuyoi's jaw twitched, the urge to define normal for Kouhei was there but if he did he might give too much away. The question was a little bit better. He could be more vague. "Easy. Simple." That was the summary of his life so far before Kouhei came. That was how he had liked it. Predictable. "You made it confusing." Very, very confusing. Suddenly everything had been so damn confusing. The feelings were confusing, the thoughts, the urges. Everything. All because of one person. "You made everything change." Everything that had once been Tsuyoi Seishuku.

[Birdie]

Light emerald eyes moved up to the blue sky overhead. Kouehi sighed. He opened pale pink lips. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make trouble for you. I guess I inadvertently cause trouble." He closed his eyes. "I wish I wasn't quite so problematic." Things would be a lot simpler if I were just a girl. he thought.

He opened his eyes. "But I guess there are times when lifes gonna be a bit messed up. Sorry to cause you a lot of problems, sempai. I'll try to keep my distance so you don't end up having to deal with all my weirdness." He gave Tsuyoi a crooked so sort of half-smile. "So I guess you lied when you said I wasn't a burden. It's okay. I lied to you too... before..." He wasn't going to mention what he lied about. They both knew. The kiss.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Tsuyoi sighed in annoyance. "That's not what I said..." he commented to Kouhei making trouble. Kouhei had never done anything. Never anything wrong. It wasn't the boy that was the problem. Tsuyoi guessed it was himself. He was to blame for his reactions and temptations for the young and dangerously cute Kouhei. "I have not lied to you. There's no point in me lying, is there?"

((shorter and shorter DX))

[Birdie]

He stared up at Tsuyoi, curious, confused. "I do not understand, sempai. What do you mean?"[/b] he really did not understand. He nibbled his lower lip, trying to figure it out but was drawing blanks every time. He felt stupid for not knowing something that he felt he should. All he could do was wait for Tsuyoi's answer to figure the whole mess out. And to think, it all started with a simple, drunken kiss.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

"You're not a burden. There is nothing you did that was wrong. It's just me..." Tsuyoi said, slightly ashamed as he looked down. He sighed, bringing his hand up to move away his bangs, finding he had nothing else to do with himself. What more should he say? What more should he confess? This is the moment where he wanted to get away before more was said. Before anything else was revealed. But that was weak of him to do. How could be such a coward? No, he would stay. He would face this.

[Birdie]

"You? You're perfect, what are you talking about?" [/b]Kouhei watched Tsuyoi for a long moment. He then patted the ground beside him. "Lay down with me. Watch the clouds." [/b] There were currently no clouds in sight. "I know you don't like such frivolous things, but its really relaxing." He seemed so uncomfortable that Kouhei had to change the subject. It would be mean of him not to. If Kouhei didn't want to talk about something he simply would not talk. Tsuyoi was being so evasive and vague there was no way he wanted to talk about what they were talking about. It was good to know he was merely not a burden. It made him feel better about it.