The First Night [Merodi/Ookami]

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Merodi still couldn't believe she had done that. Was she insane?! He probably thought she was insane for doing something like that! Why did she have to do that?! She knew she was happy and all, but she didn't have to go and...just...hug him. What right did she have to do go and do that?!

Merodi was too flustered to even look up at him. Afraid of what the look on his face would be. But as the seconds passed on, and he didn't move, or say anything, she found that she had to look up at him, too curious on what he was doing. On what he was thinking.

The look on his face surprised her. He wasn't angry. The look...it was different. And he was blushing. Less then her, but he was still blushing. That expression...she couldn't really describe it. She found herself staring up at him. Waiting...for something, she did not know.

Then he suddenly turned away. She smiled, hearing his apology. Koga-sama...she was glad she stayed with him. She had been meant to meet him, she knew. Merodi knew that he was emberassed, just as she was. And this silence was starting to bug her.

Merodi was still extremely happy though. She giggled as she walked forward to stand beside Koga. "Where are we going to go to search for Naraku? Any leads?"

[Aiko]

Standing beside him now, was she? This was quite different from Merodi’s previous trotting along behind Koga, in that submissive manner she always used. And, well, the wolf demon hadn’t minded then, but now, as she stood at his side, he found that he didn’t really care where she stood. Either way was fine by him. Besides, now he could just turn his head to speak with her instead of twisting completely around.

Not that he actually turned to face her as he replied. After all, though he was finally managing to get his face under control, he was still blushing slightly.

“Eh… not really,” Koga admitted, looking entirely nonchalant about this. “I’ll find him when I find him. He hides himself well, the cowardly bastard.” Well, Koga was used to tromping randomly around the countryside in his quest. Hey, something usually turned up! “Anyway,” he continued, “If worst comes to worst, we’re not the only ones looking for him. There’re other places where we could dig up some information. And…”

Suddenly, something Merodi had said made Koga finally whip around to face her. “How many times do I have to tell you?” he said stubbornly. “’We’ are not going to find Naraku, I am. You’re not going to let that slimy bastard even know you’re there, you got that? We’ve been through all of this.” The wolf demon used a moment to roll his eyes. I’m not gonna let you get killed, he thought. Despite how much you keep acting like you want to go on some suicidal mission. No matter what!

Now he stopped mid-thought. Where the hell did that come from?

Trying his very best to hide his confusion, though that crimson tint returned to his cheeks, he barked out a new command. “Alright, we’re not gonna get much done by standing around at night talking. Let’s head back to camp.” Walking quickly, as though to escape the embarrassing thoughts he had had, he stalked all the way back to camp, plopping down defiantly in front of the fire.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Merodi knew that standing beside him was a stretch. But she was only doing so to get a look at his face when she was talking to him. It was rude not to have eye contact to who you are speaking with. She was rather happy at the moment. Much of her shyness had lessened a bit, and she let a lot slide. The biggie was standing beside him. When they started to walk, she would go back to be behind him.

Merodi was determined to help Koga as much as possible. Prove to herself, and to him that she was useful in at least some way. She hoped that things would be...at least, a little easy. She wondered about the other people that searched for Naraku. Merodi herself had never heard of him, because she had never spoken with anyone except Ookami and Koga.

Merodi did not know how powerful this Naraku was, but she knew that if it was a problem for someone as strong as Koga, then...he must be trouble. She blinked, confusion coming across her face as he suddenly turned on her.

....Oh yeah! That's right! She smiled sheepishly. Her job when even getting close to finding Naraku was to hide. Which was something she was good at, actually. Koga wished to keep her alive, and so she would. Even if she didn't care what happened to herself.

Merodi blinked as Koga headed back to camp. Immediately she followed behind, her steps a little uneven for a moment. Of all the things that were going on, she had completely ignored her injury. And as they came back to camp, before she sat down she investigated it.

It seemed to be healing up. She wasn't bleeding anymore...she guessed that was good. But it still stung a bit. This sort of pain...it was nothing she wasn't used to....

Slowly, she sat down. She felt rather odd not having Ookami here. She had been here, and then...she had left. It was not something that she liked to think about. Including since she was her first friend. "May I ask you something Koga...eh, san?"

[Aiko]

Despite the fact that Koga was sitting in front of the fire with a determinedly grumpy look on his face, he sensed that Merodi had followed him. For some reason, however, she wasn’t sitting down, and he could feel her presence hovering about above him. As though defiant of the fact that she was there, the wolf demon refused to look at his companion, feeling somewhat self-conscious because of his previous thoughts. He still had no idea why those words had come to mind, but he was determined to forget about it, so he searched for something with which he could busy himself.

Oh look! A stick!

It seemed that there was a stray twig that had escaped from the fire. The blaze itself seemed to be dwindling, since it had been neglected for a short while, and would probably be grateful for the twig. Perhaps it wasn’t the greatest thing Koga could find to occupy himself with, but it was the first thing he saw. Not really paying attention to what he was doing, he reached for the stick, determinedly staring into the flickering flames.

Bad move.

Part of the stick was splintered, and it would be just Koga’s luck to grab that part of the stick. Also, it was just his luck that a tiny splinter slid into his already-abused fingertip, the one that the spider had bitten and he had then singed. Though he didn’t yelp or anything embarrassing like that, the wolf demon did wince, and turn an annoyed glare on the offending twig. Curse you, stick! he thought as he stubbornly grabbed it and chucked it into the fire.

By now, Merodi had finally sat down, though Koga had been too busy with his twig problem to notice. When the deer demon finally asked her question, her companion was putting his abused finger to his mouth, tasting a tiny droplet of blood and feeling the sting on that sensitive area, so when he turned to her, it looked like he was shushing her. However, he just grimaced for a moment at the twinge in his fingertip and put his hand on the ground.

“What is it?” Koga growled, sounding more demanding and gruff because of the stinging pain.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Merodi stood there, her hands fiddling with the end of her shirt. Finding a loose thread she pulled on it, her nervousness showing in such an action. She felt that maybe she shouldn't ask what she planned to. No, she would just be bothering him. Merodi stared at her hands, but finally looked toward Koga. She watched him, half amused and half concerned as he picked up the stick and seemed to hurt himself.

Merodi wished she could help him. But she didn't know anything about medicine or healings. She wished she did. One way she could have been useful. And as his attention turned to her, and he spoke to her, she couldn't help but wince a bit. He sounded angry.

It was probably just the wound...or something...but she couldn't help but hesitate on ask what she wished to. It seemed to selfish of her, and at first she couldn't find it in herself to openly speak it. She bit down on her lip for a moment, her large deer like ears pulled back.

Finally, she took in a deep breath, and asked her question as calm as she could. "If it's not a bother...or if you don't mind...could you...teach me how to do combat?"

[Aiko]

With all of Merodi’s beating around the bush, looking embarrassed or nervous or whatever the hell emotion she was feeling, Koga was getting irritated. Well, he was already irritated, because of that damn annoying pain in his finger! Why was it that the splinter could be just as annoying as having a hole blown in his stomach? In reality, it was more that which was now really bothering him (his previous thoughts had successfully been forgotten in the pain), but he still had to bite back a stinging, “Get on with it!”

Well, eventually, she did “get on with it,” asking tentatively if he would teach her, as she put it, “how to do combat.” Had he not been angry about the stupid sliver in his fingertip, he would have been amused. Instead, he took a moment to glare at the offending finger, finally reaching for the sliver and yanking it out. Well, almost yanking it out. Sadly, a piece of it was still stuck in his skin, and, short of cutting his fingertip open, it would be staying there for a while. Believe it or not, Koga did consider that solution for a moment, before remembering that Merodi had asked him something.

At least now, with the majority of the splinter out of his finger and tossed aside, disregarded, Koga had a chance to feel amused by the deer demon’s question. When he thought back to it, he grinned. Suddenly, an image of Merodi heaving around a sword and clumsily trying to hit a target that wasn’t even moving came to mind, and the wolf demon couldn’t hold back a snort of amused laughter. In spite of his pain, which was more of an irritation than anything, he chuckled, trying desperately to replace his look of delight with a more serious one.

When he spoke at last, there was a teasing note in his voice. “What, you? Fighting?” Face threatening to twist in amusement again, he had to wait a moment to get it under control, and he finally looked back at Merodi, eyes gleaming with laughter. “What, is this another scheme to get me to let you face Naraku? You really don’t know what you’re getting into.”

Without warning, Koga’s fist flew up. The flicker of movement was almost too rapid for a non-fighter to comprehend, but he thought that Merodi should notice it. However, it was up to her to react. Regardless of what she did, he stopped his fist about an inch away from her nose (or at least where he had last seen her nose).

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Merodi felt completely humiliated now that she had finally spat out her question. She knew she shouldn't have asked. It was just rediculous! Shikas did not fight! Including females! But she knew that if she did not learn sooner of later, she was done for. She needed to learn, at least, to defend herself. She could see from Koga's reaction to her question that he thought it rediculous.

Merodi frowned, looking sadly at her hands in her lap from where she sat. She felt so emberassed, humiliated. He was laughing at her too! Though at any time the chuckle would be quite welcomed, it wasn't when she knew that he was laughing at her. This was horrible! She shouldn't have said anything! It was too much to hope for.

Merodi opened her mouth, to respond to his words of going against Naraku. "No, that's not-" but she was interrupted as his fist suddenly came flying toward her. Her eyes widened, memories flashing in her mind, and she quickly tried to move out of his range.

In doing so, she lost her balance, falling backward and landing on her back with a loud thud. She stared at the sky, eyes still wide as she continued to have flash backs. So many scenes...

It was not actually Koga's fist that she had seen in her mind when she had tried to move away. It had been the human lord that she had been owned by. And it had still not clicked in her mind that it had been Koga. And that he had not been trying to actually hit her.

Slowly she sat herself up, staring at him with disbelief. She couldn't believe he just did that. The emotions bubbled up inside of her. The humiliation, the fear, and the memories of pain brought back the tears that glistened at the edge of her doe like eyes.

"Don't do that..." she whimpered. Even now, she was emberassed on how she had reacted. Emberassed that it had gone all the way for her to cry. "Don't ever do that." and it was not a suggestion, not a plea, but a full grown demand. She stood then, on shaky legs and walked a little away from the camp site.

Merodi needed to recollect her thoughts. It was too much for all at once. She whiped away the tears and took in shaky breaths.

[Aiko]

Koga hadn’t meant for Merodi to hurt herself. The whole fist-flying-at-face thing was just a test, a way for the wolf demon to see how his companion would cope with an unexpected fight. To tell the truth, she had pretty much reacted the way that he had expected her to, though that’s not to say what he had hoped for. Not paying attention to her attempt to order him around, nor to her huffy tromping away from the campsite, the demon let out a sigh. If the deer demon couldn’t cope with fists coming at her, how was she to hope for survival in a fight? All of this wasn’t just a “let’s annoy the pathetic deer demon” kind of thing. It was a way for the wolf demon to see how far the female demon was when it came to fighting.

Apparently, she wasn’t going to be much good at anything yet.

If Merodi was going to travel with Koga, she had to get one thing straight: her companion was not a soft, sweet kind of guy. Let’s not get this confused with caring about his newfound companion; this was the only way the wolf demon had been able to survive, by being tough. And he knew from bitter experience that if the deer demon wanted to live to see every new sunrise, she couldn’t shy away from anything. This was one of the first rules of a fight: to hesitate, to be uncertain, is to die.

All of the laughter that had been in Koga’s eyes had died. Now, he was rising slowly but steadily to his feet, face half in shadow because of the light of the fire, both in the camp and in the sky. He could feel the gleam of the inferno in his icy eyes, burning in a deep solemnity in the demon’s gaze. Sure, he would protect his newfound companion, but he could only do so much, a realization that dawned on him slowly as he thought about her shying away, her obvious terror of his fist. Turning, the demon spotted his companion some ways away, apparently moping, and walked slowly after her.

The only warning Merodi would have had of his approach was the series of muffled footfalls, which ended as Koga stopped a couple of yards away from her. “Like it or not,” he said suddenly, “things worse than me are going to come along. I thought you said you wanted to learn combat, and you can’t hesitate or shy away, like you did back there, in a real fight. So,” he continued, staring at his companion with blazing intensity in his blue gaze, “are you willing? Can you put aside your fear, your shame, and those emotions that hold you back? Can you do this?”

Whether or not she realized it, Koga was taking her desire, or supposed desire, to learn to fight seriously.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Merodi knew that Koga would never understand the fear that had suddenly overwhelmed her. She knew that she had reacted wrongly. He wouldn't understand. It was much deeper then just a fist to the face. It went much deeper. She had been scarred. And it still had not healed. This mental wound. She bit down on her lower lip which she did her best to keep from trembling.

He wouldn't understand. Nor did she ever really want him to. Or anyone for that matter. He didn't have to. And she wouldn't sit down and explain her life's details just so she could justify her actions of fright. There was no justifying it. Years had passed and yet she could still not get over it? How weak she must be...

Merodi's ears perked up as she heard foot steps. She knew immediately that it was Koga from the scent that came to her. She didn't dare look at him. She felt too humiliated, and too angry with herself to do so.

Merodi finally looked toward him as he spoke. At first the look on her face was a mixture of depression and...well, other things. But as he continued, her face turned to hope. He was going to teach her. He was considering it! She was so happy, but at least, this time not enough to glomp him like she had done last time. To her he was her only hope.

To have her dreams, her wish to come true. He would not only be teaching her how to fight, he would be teaching her to be less afraid and that was what she wanted! She smiled, sudden relief washed over her. She wouldn't be afraid anymore.

Merodi nodded vigorously to all of his questions.

"I'll do my best...Koga-sensei." she let out a light giggle then, how she spoke Koga's name. Since he would be her teacher now. She was just so excited and happy at that moment.

[Aiko]

Merodi switched from depression to bliss faster than Koga could run, beginning to look suddenly enthusiastic about everything. But then again, the moment of seriousness was gone from the wolf demon, and he let out a sigh of exasperation, directed at the capricious-mooded deer demon. Couldn’t she just make up her mind about being happy or sad, whether she wanted to fight or not?

And on the subject of making up her mind, why couldn’t she do that with his name? Was it so hard to just settle on one suffix, instead of alternating between sama, san, and sensei? Was she just trying to irritate him? If that was the case, it was working, because Koga could feel a definite prickle of annoyance. He had to grit his teeth to keep from snapping at her. After a moment, he sighed. A rare enlightenment caused him to realize that she just respected him, and was that so terrible? Still, all of this “Koga-sama this” and “Koga-sensei that” was making his skin crawl.

“Look, you don’t need to be so formal around me, alright?” he told her, sounding irate, as usual. After all, what was the use of all this politeness? It was basically going to be just them, unless Koga met up with some wolf demons from his old pack, or even Ookami if she came crawling back. So what was the point of wasting breath with all of that sensei and sama nonsense? At the moment, he didn’t care at all about any of that.

What he cared about at the moment was teaching Merodi a thing or two about fighting.

So what if he’d never taught anyone before? He’d never needed to, as fighting was practically an instinct. Koga had no clue where to start, but, as with everything else he did, he figured he’d be alright if he made it up as he went along. Deciding to find out what he could in a different way, since last time he tried all that happened was his companion scampering off to mope, he growled, “Alright then, attack me.” Standing almost completely still, the only movement was a tensing in his legs as he prepared to move out of the way.

OOC: Blegh, not as good as I wanted.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Merodi frowned lightly, sensing the annoyance in Koga's voice. She was a bit confused on why he was irritated as it seemed. She hardly could believe that it was just the way she said his name. Sensei meant teacher, did it not? And he had just became her teacher. Was he not even used to having a suffix to his name? Ah, well, if he really didn't like it, she guessed that she could...not, call him anything but Koga. Though it still seemed a little hard to do, growing up to use suffixes in a situation. It was only proper.

"Oh...okay..." she replied of him not wanting her to be formal. She watched him curiously, now wandering on what they would be doing now. But soon, he stated what he wanted her to do. With such a demand, her eyes widened and she gawked at him for a moment.

"W-what?! I can't attack you!" she stated, still shocked at what he said. Why would he want her to attack him? It clicked in her mind then what he was asking her to do.

....Oh.

Even if she just realized that he was already starting her lessons on fighting, she still could not find herself to even think of attacking Koga. Just the thought made her a bit pale. To would another....though, she was pretty sure that she wouldn't hurt him, but to know that she would be raising a hand against him. That was not shika way.

Merodi shut her mouth for a moment before speaking again. She decided againt it and just closed her mouth again. She knew what he would say. And she didn't want to hear it, because she already understood perfectly well why he wanted her to attack him. But she couldn't find herself to do it....

((fine with me, mines not what I wanted either))

[Aiko]

Koga sighed and rolled his eyes.

What was he supposed to do now? He was a newly-appointed “teacher” who really didn’t give a damn about teaching, with a pupil who insisted on learning but when it came to the lessons she wouldn’t do anything. Hey, he tried, okay? You had to give the guy some credit for trying. But here he was, stuck with this whiney, bipolar deer demon. What did she want, anyway? Was she going to learn how to fight or not?

The wolf demon wasn’t one to keep his opinions bottled up, and he wasn’t going to start now.

“Come on, stupid,” he scoffed. “Of course you can attack me. Not saying you’ll be able to land a punch,” he added by way of a little boast, “but that’s a different story. What are you, a deer?”

…no, really?

“Uh…” Well, that was dumb. For a moment, he had kind of forgotten exactly with whom he was dealing. “That… came out kind of wrong…” Yeah. That was a bit of an understatement. “Look,” blustered Koga, trying to make up for his great stating-of-the-obvious, “if you don’t attack me, you must not really want to fight, and if you don’t really want to fight, you don’t need to, alright? I never said you had to; just do… uh… whatever it is you do.”

Wow, that was great. Just smashing. Nice going, Koga.

Putting his hands on his hips, the wolf demon spun around, looking all-too-obviously awkward. “You know what?” he said suddenly. “Maybe you just aren’t meant to be a fighter. Come on, there has to be something else you do with yourself…”

This conversation was going… uh… smoothly…

OOC: I'm so sorry this took so long. T_T It's been the end of school and all that, and I've been distracted...

[Lord Sesshomaru]

((thats okay. Thanks for posting. Its summer vacation already here))

Merodi might not have been good at fighting, but she wasn't stupid. She understood exactly why he had asked her to attack him. Understood well enough. She knew how teaching went, just not the exact fighting part. She stared at the ground, a bit shameful that she had denied the command from her teacher.

Merodi looked up at him as he spoke, the stupid comment she took without complaint. She looked back down at the ground as he continued her ears only perked up with his last comment, in which she looked up with him in confusion. He just called her a deer as an insult didn't he?

Merodi didn't know if she should comment that she was, in fact, a deer, but by his expression and his body language he seemed to realize that it was stupid of him to say that. And yes, it did seem to come out wrong. But she had gotten the point. She was a deer. Fighting was not what deer do. Including females. So of course it would be used as an insult. And she took it as one easily enough.

It looked as if Merodi wasn’t listening to him anymore as he continued. It looked as if her attention was only on the ground at her feet. Like something so very interesting had popped up in that strip of earth. But her ears, which facing Koga told him she was listening. He made a good point. That if she wasn’t going to fight him, then that meant she didn’t want to learn how. But she did. She wanted to learn. It was just still so hard.

Of course she didn’t have to learn. Koga didn’t really care if she stayed unable to defend herself. He said she didn’t have to, but he just didn’t understand. Merodi bit down on her lower lip. Do whatever it is she did? Sing? When was that helpful? Of course, she didn’t say anything of it.

Merodi finally brought her gaze off the ground when he turned away from her where she stared at the back of his head while he spoke. He was right, of course….she was not meant to fight. But she didn’t want it to be that way. She didn’t want to be as she always had been. To be able to fight was to have no fear, right?

Something else to do with herself?

“I can sing.” Merodi closed her eyes and her ears drooped. “That’s all I can do.”

[Aiko]

Singing? Did that even count as something to do with oneself? Of course, Koga had rarely heard what most considered “singing.” When he thought of a song, the music of a wolf’s howl was usually what came to mind, not lyrics and instruments and all that stuff that Merodi probably had in mind… Therefore, the wolf demon thought that everyone could sing, though it sounded better coming from some. But whatever. It was clear that the deer demon was not going to be much use in the way of fighting, and singing had to be better than the talent of taking up space that seemed to be the specialty of so many lazy bums in the world.

Sighing, a clear indication of his badly disguised disappointment, Koga muttered, “Alright, you can sing. Not sure what good that will do in the future, but it’s something.” That could have been better put, but hey, what could one expect from a demon who was more accustomed to fighting than anything else?

But even Koga realized that this was a pretty tactless thing to say, and he cast around for a nicer comment. Glancing westward, it seemed that the sun had finally lost its struggle against the night, and the darkness was growing. The moon shimmered high above, shivering and wavering with light that was feeble and pale beside the last vestiges of the sun’s glow. The air was considerably cooler now, though the wolf demon was only vaguely aware of it. It might have been a good idea to head back to the campfire, but then again, he wasn’t exactly the bright idea man.

A few stars winked to light high above, and Koga paused to glance up into the inky depths of the sky, relaxing as he allowed the night, a creature that was wild and free, yet calm and tranquil at the same instant, to fill his senses. There was something pacifying about nighttime, something that exhilarated the spirit while it soothed it. The wolf demon breathed deep, clearing his senses in light of stars and moon.

Was there something he had been meaning to do just then?

With a start, Koga realized that Merodi was still there. How could he forget her? That was the problem with letting the mind wander; it might run away. How long had he been standing there staring up at the sky, exactly? Oh well. What was done was done.

“What kind of songs do you know?” he asked suddenly, turning blazing blue eyes to the deer demon. Their pupil-less sapphire depths sparkled in reflected starlight, calm curiosity emanating from them.

OOC: -cries- I’m sorry! This took forever! D=

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Singing. Yes, singing. A peaceful talent, one that calms the soul and leaves it in thoughtful tranquility. Merodi's family had thought her blessed by the gods for such a talent. She was used for the yearly rituals to pay there dues to the kamis and Merodi's songs would fill the night as the others danced and singed. At that time, many years ago, Merodi had also thought that her talent was a blessing. She made other people happy, made them dance, made them look at her in awe and she felt special.

Merodi shook her head, hearing Koga speak. Something, huh? Yes, it was something....but not what she wanted anymore. It was no help to her at all now. It did not help with her fears. It was not helpful at all. Merodi was now completely depressed. Close to giving up hope to what she dreamed to do. She could not fight. Koga didn't think so either. He probably didn't want to teach her anymore either.

The day turning into night was completely ignored by Merodi, her thoughts keeping her distracted from the outside world. Memories came to he mind, thoughts that were just putting her down, making her seem worthless. More then she already did at that moment.

Wothless, worthless, worthless....

Merodi was glad that Koga spoke up again, it distraced her. His voice was calming to her, though it seemed always followed with a snarl, even not intended. His question made her think for a moment. "Many different kinds." she replied with a small smile. "None you would ever recongize." that was the only thing she took pride in. That her songs were uknown to all but herself, and the ones she sang. There were none of the people she sang to. Except Ookami...but she had only heard one song, and not enough to memorize it.

Merodi wondered if he would want her to sing to him. She almost hoped that he did. Maybe he would see the talent in it, that only she could not see. Immediately she thought of a song to sing that would be perfect....but none came to mind.

((I'm just happy you posted at all ^_^)